Smallville
Nicodemus

Episode Report Card
Omar G: A | 1 USERS: B+
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Flower Power

Outside. Lana speeds away in Lex's smooth silver ride. Clark sees her (he's just in the right place at the right time all the time, isn't he?) and gives chase.

Hamilton's green-glowing lab. Shouldn't he have colon cancer by now? Chloe walks in. They know each other from emails, it seems. She asks what he was doing skulking about when she was taking pictures at the truck accident site. He lies and says he was looking for meteor samples. He says he didn't see them, but heard noises that night. He assumed it was Party Kids. Chloe spots The Nicodemus Diaries on his desk. I wish it were The Enrique Diaries. Or even Bridget Jones's Diary. Chloe excuses herself and apologizes for bothering him. When he asks what she was doing at the accident site, she says she was just partying with friends.

Lana's doing some off-roading with Lex's poor sports car. She drives up to a creaky-looking old windmill. She gets out of the car, wearing a puffy black coat. When exactly did she put that on? Clark speeds it on over and calls out, "Lana!" Clark follows her as she walks toward the windmill. He says something's happened to her, but he doesn't know what it is. "It's called self-confidence," she says. She calls out Clark for not taking her in the pool when he had his chance. So she's not concerned that Principal Needs Roadwork To Attain Formerly Smooth Surface Status would have seen it all? I see. That's her little game, is it? Clark says he has to get Lana to a hospital. She tells him to stop avoiding the question here: "Are you in love with me?" she asks. "Lana," he says. She calls him a coward and starts climbing the windmill. "You want me? Come and get me!" she says. She has some sort of pocket chain hanging out from her ass region. Who wears those? Clark tells her to stop. She asks if he's afraid of heights. "Come down!" he yells, ineffectually. Lana starts to white out like Bo did before. She gets woozy. Falls. "Lana!" Clark calls. Think he'll catch her? Oh, I think he might. He does. "Clark," she whispers. Then goes unconscious. Commercial break.

Blade II does, indeed, kick ass. Just thought you should know.

Stupid WB wrap-up explaining what's happened so far, with a special emphasis on Lana's T&A. This promo thing is not The Sexy.

Hospital. Lana, who's got one little black bra strap showing, is being wheeled in. "What happened?" MamaKent asks Clark. For once, she's not the harbinger of exposition. Clark asks how his dad is. Lex is hovering in the background behind MamaKent. "He slipped into a coma," she says, almost crying. How do you "slip" into a coma? Is there a mental banana peel involved? Oh, shit! I slipped! And fell! Into a coma! She says they don't know how long Bo will last. Given his career and all. Clark goes to the window to look. Lex tells MamaKent he's flying in the best doctors from Metropolis. Fly? How far is it if Lana can see it from the windmill? MamaKent just nods and walks off. Lex looks at Clark with concern. It's a kinder, gentler Gayest Look of the Episode. "Clark, I'm sorry," he says. Clark says it's not his fault. Oh, get it? Like when everybody tells Clark it's not his fault, when in fact his meteor shower arrival caused all this weird crap. Only this time, it's Lex's fault, indirectly. Well played, Smallville writers. Well played. Lex continues the Gayest Look that he started before Clark talked. Don't speak, Clark. Just soak in the Look. Lex looks in at Bo. Looks back at Clark. Does it again. This is a Gayest Look for the new Millennium.

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Smallville

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