Smallville
Smallville

Episode Report Card
Omar G: B- | 575 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Not Very Well-Versed

Luthor's house of wood textures and stained glass. Papa Luthor, wearing a smart white shirt and tie, is playing the piano. Nicely, too. "Chopin?" Lex asks as he walks in. He says he always thought Papa Luthor thought him too sentimental. Papa says that Chopin sometimes lack subtlety. "Sometimes," he says. He's so in luuuuuurve. Papa says that, judging from Lex's tone, he's angry. Lex is mad that he interviewed more assistant prospects the day before only to find out Papa had already hired MamaKent. Lex asks what his angle is. Papa says that MamaKent "is a very... [he pauses a long time] capable woman." The Magnificent Piano Man says that honesty like hers is hard to come by. So is a naked picture of Sandra Bernhard. Lex thinks Papa Luthor is using her to ingratiate himself to the townspeople. Papa says he hadn't thought of that, but that it's an unexpected benefit. Lex says he wants Papa Luthor to stay away from the Kents. "They mean a lot to me," Lex says. Papa says he wonders what they'd think of Lex meddling in their affairs: "You think they'd welcome you into their family?" Lex says it would be a step up. Papa Luthor chuckles. He talks about Zeus and his adopted son finding a home among mortals. It's supposed to be about Lex, but it's a total Clark Kent allegory. Lex finishes the story of Prometheus, who was chained to a rock and had his liver eaten by vultures. Well, maybe it's more about our gothy Poet. Papa reminds Lex that Prometheus was immortal, and could never leave his place among the Gods. Lex says, wordily, that if Papa Luthor does anything to the Kents, their father-son truce will come to an end. Papa Luthor goes back to his piano playing.

The house that has withstood the test of bad poetry. Pete and Clark come up the front porch. Pete asks what happened to waiting for the sheriff. Clark says he needs to know if their poet is in there. He takes a nailed-up wood blank off a window. As Clark reaches in, a dog comes and bites his arm. The dog whimpers and scampers away. Pete says that Clark is a regular "Dr. Doolittle." Except Dr. Doolittle talked to animals. Man. Clark and Pete go through the window. Inside. A moose head, a shotgun. "This place is like an NRA petting zoo," Pete says. Clark uses his x-ray vision to see through the floor, but can't make out much. He pulls a rug and says there's something underneath, but it must be made of lead because he can't see through. There's an awful lot of lead in people's basements around here. Pete says that Clark should come with an instruction manual. Like the one William Katt lost in The Greatest American Hero! Clark pulls open a lock that's holding an entrance to the lower level. He opens it.

Smallville

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