Opening credits. That Bo thing doesn't get any less funny. Commercials. Why can't Catherine Zeta-Jones-Douglas come and freeze time for me? Why not, dammit?

A tree! A high-school building! For one brief moment, the alt-crap music I'm hearing sounds like Adam Ant's "Goody Two Shoes," and I get all excited, but then it's just alt-crap and the world shifts back into focus. We hear Chloe telling Lana that the sentiment of the poetic note Lana found is nice, but that the graveyard setting makes it a little "Amityville." Because it's outdoors and not in a house and in Kansas and not New York? Yes, I see the parallels, Chloe. The poem she's holding is twelve lines with lots of cursive scripts and words like "Beneath" and "upon" and "ravishing." I'd transcribe it in whole, but I'm afraid that doing so will unlock its evil and kill me, just like in that Ring movie. So if you're that curious, you can read it on DVD a few years from now. Lana says it's kind of romantic and that she hasn't gotten a love letter since third grade. Except the ones Jocko sent when he went to join the Marines, right? How quickly the show forgets. Pete is along, too, to inject a line here or there. Lana says that love letters are a lost art. Chloe says they're not; she intercepted a note going from a football player to a cheerleader. It said, "Be ready for the team." Then the cheesy '70s music started playing. Pete asks who Lana thinks wrote it. She has no idea.