Talon. He may be a waifish poet, but Byron (snerk) sure can eat! He's wolfing down cake and coffee while holding his head. That's like when someone in old movies would get bonked in the mouth and to show they had a toothache, they'd wear that big bandage around their whole head. Yeah, we just saw your head bleed. We understand it without further stage business. Byron can't believe he passed out. "I'm sorry I scared you," Clark says, like he's not sorry at all. You didn't scare him, Clark; you bumrushed the fuck out of him. The guy -- who has Edward Scissorhands skin -- says it's all right, since Clark was protecting the beautiful young lady. Oh, gag. He says that Clark is chivalrous. So was Pepe le Pew. Lana rolls her eyes. The poet says Lana's lucky to have a boyfriend who cares so much about her. Hemming and hawing about Clark being just a friend. This scene is like molasses running uphill. Clark is a friend -- "an overprotective one," Lana adds. I'll bet Clark could meet much better girls online. Lord Boring graces us with more verse about Lana's beauty and her forthwith and whatnot. Clark has a big old dumb look on his face, like, "Don't tell me this shit's actually working." Lana smiles and says that was beautiful. "Which poet wrote that?" Clark asks, all ig'nant. "Shakespeare," Bar-none says. Lana says she can't imagine being home-schooled and never seeing anyone. Yeah, she only works eighty-hour weeks at the Talon and has no concept. You know, I'm sure there are nice folks among you who don't fit this generalization, but every person I've ever met who was home-schooled was a little...um, strange. Like the kind of person who you're afraid to ask their life story because you know every sentence is going to start, "And then my parents said..." Poor Byron says you don't miss what you never had. Except a million dollars. I miss that every day. Clark notices some nasty-looking marks on the boy's wrist. Clark asks if his parents are strict. "They only want what's best for me," he replies. A life sentence. Lana hears a truck outside and says it must be the milk delivery. How does she know that? When do these kids sleep? It's all that damn coffee! Byron (har har) jumps to his feet and asks what time it is. When he's told it's 5 AM, he whines about his parents waking up and exits quickly. Lana and Clark go after him.
Episode Report CardOmar G: B- | 575 USERS: C+
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