Episode Report Card
Omar G: C+ | Grade It Now!
Not Very Well-Versed

The International House of Bad Poetry. GothMa is leading Clark and Bo down the stairs. She's made a dramatic reversal from her "son died of a drowning stance" of earlier. "You really shouldn't be here," she says, telling them that her husband is out looking for little Tommy Gnosis Lost. Bo tells her they want to help. She says, in her wavery voice, that it's been tough for them and that the Kents probably think she and her Moll-Man are horrible parents. Bo doesn't answer her. Clark asks why Byron (wheeze) changed when he got into the light. GothMa says it was one of the side effects of the drug he was taking. The other side effect? Minty breath. She says they wish they'd never gotten involved with that mess, and that the drug was supposed to make him better. Bo says that somebody out there must be able to help him. She tells Bo that their doctor watched six other boys die trying to reverse the side effects. Well, if he hadn't taken them to the Bahamas... She says that their son was hooked up to a bunch of machines "like he was some sort of alien." Clark -- who's puttering in the background -- shifts uncomfortably. Taking on an angry tone, he asks if that's why they faked his death certificate. No, Clark. It's because there was a special at Denny's for senior citizens and dead teenagers. Geez, you're dense. She says they locked him in the basement and he cried for days, not understanding. "We felt like the monsters," she says, close to tears. Clark asks if Byron (coo coo!) will change back if he's out of the sun. She says that is so. But he's very strong now. And has fresh breath.

Clark at the Talon. Lana is pissed that she had to hear about the latest developments from broken-armed Pete. "Thanks for the call," she says sarcastically, not even deigning to look in Clark's direction. Clark! Personal ads! Just get away from her. She's going to suck you dry like a kryptonite chain around your neck. Lana's mad that she wanted to help, and Clark cut her out. Clark says he didn't want her to get hurt. "Is that it, or don't you trust me?" she asks. I grow weary of these WB relationship games. At this rate, they won't kiss again for five more seasons. Clark changes tone, getting pissy himself. He asks if Lana has seen Sir Suddenly Longfellow. Lana says if she had, Clark would know because she would have been honest. Chloe comes in holding a folder and says she thinks she knows why their "would-be Shakespeare" went "all pro wrestler" on Clark. Chloe, just give us the damn information. Your parlance has also become tiresome. Lana gives Clark a dirty look. Chloe asks if it just got cold in there. It's the one time Chloe's not showing her Chloeavage, so I can't really say. Clark takes the folder and asks Chloe what she found, like he's the CEO of their little brain trust. Chloe says that the medical trials their poet participated in targeted his adrenal system. Clark says they have to track down the company that conducted the trials. Chloe says Metron Pharmaceuticals shut down before they finished their research. "Why would they do that?" Lana asks, scrunching her face. Chloe says that maybe Clark should ask his mom's new boss. Turns out Metron is a Luthorcorp subsidiary. Clark says he'll talk to Lex. Lana bugs her eyes for no reason. It's the most insect-like look of the episode. Chloe says she'd help, but that Pete issued an SOS for his PlayStation 2. I totally understand. Lana grabs her jacket to go look for her not-so-secret admirer. Clark tries to stop her. He warns her to be careful. Lana half-nods.

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