Episode Report Card
Omar G: C+ | Grade It Now!
Not Very Well-Versed

A new home. We hear the buzzing of a saw or some sort of power tool. Close-up of Byron (chuckle) in the dark. Upstairs, his dad is Molling down the floor, drilling into it. Downstairs in the cellar, the boy's mouth is twitching in fear and anguish. How...poetic! He holds his hands to hid head and cries.

Talon. People are walking around under the marquee, which we can only barely read from the side. It says something about a silent film festival. I'm beginning to wish this episode were silent. Inside, Lana is slinging lattes. Lex is at the counter, and he's picked up the note, which Lana just left on the counter for all customers to read. "Look at me! Somebody likes me! And not just my dead-waffle parents!" Lana says, "That's kind of personal." Which is why it's on the counter, available for reading with a penny donation to UNICEF. Lex playfully pulls the letter away as she reaches for it and smiles. Lana tells Lex to go ahead and read it. She says he'll probably agree with Clark that it's sappy. Lex follows Lana with it and remarks that the imagery is naïve, but that the meter's quite sophisticated. He asks whom it's from. Lana says it's from an admirer or psychopath, depending on who you ask. Lex says that had a little "edge to it," and asks if everything all right. "Edge"? He's a dialogue coach, now? Lana says that everyone is giving her a hard time about the poem, which she can't understand. Why would people comment on something that she's been going around showing to everyone and asking their opinion about? The nerve! Then Lex does something unexpected: "Take me to you. Imprison me," he says, "For I never shall be free/ nor ever chaste/ except you ravish me." Lex says it while fixing his gaze on Lana. About a million seats are now sopping across the country. And those are just from the guys watching. "John Donne," Lana says. She says he's one of her favorites. Him and Dr. Seuss. Lex says that if he didn't know better (and how does he?), he'd say he found Lana's Achilles' Heel. Lana says she didn't know Lex was so into poetry. Lex says that anyone who doesn't appreciate poetry doesn't know that it's all about seduction. If they're setting up a Lex/Lana/Clark love triangle, I may have to just bail completely. Lana looks like she's about to melt; then she spots Clark coming up behind Lex. (As is his wont.) Clark comes in and gives a Significant Look, which he does a lot in this episode. Lana loudly says that it's nice that some people appreciate artistic expression. I in no way advocate violence against women, but seriously, Clark needs to just slap her once if she doesn't knock it off with that shit. Or better yet, ask Chloe to do it. Lex, giving back the poem, says it kind of raises the bar for other contenders. He says it in Clark's direction. Clark thinks, "Thanks. Thanks very much. Ass." Lex smirks and leaves.

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