Smallville
Noir

Episode Report Card
Omar G: C+ | Grade It Now!
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The Big Snooze

Commercials. See ya, Gilmore Girls.

The heavy noir music is kind of driving me nuts. We return to an engraved sign that reads, "Daily Planet Building." You gotta love those crazy old-school fonts. Jimmy, his tie loosened for the night, sadly walks back to his old desk. Jimmy sees a shape behind a distorted glass panel with smoke rising. He thinks it's Clark. He starts talking about how he thinks Clark took him for a patsy and set him up right from the start. It really wasn't very hard. Jimmy says Clark saw a chance to bump off the old man, stick Jimmy with the blame, and run off with the girl. Yes. That was it exactly. Nice sleuthing, Shamus. "Why'd ya hafta..." Jimmy begins, but then he sees that it's actually Lana sitting at the desk with a big black hat. "He didn't. I did," she says. Jimmy says she's full of surprises. Like last week, when they changed her whole character. She tells "James" that she's sorry. Fiercely, he says, "They're gonna put. Me. Away." Eh, you'll probably get the chair. Lana says they won't get the chance. She pulls out a gun and aims it at Jimmy. Dames is poison! The soothsayer was right! A gunshot. Jimmy falls back onto a desk. We hear a second shot. Lana arches her back. Her hat falls off. Ow! Hat head! Jimmy watches Lana slump back onto the desk chair. There's a dark bead of blood falling from her lips. She looks to her left.

A dark, broad-shouldered shape enters the room, holding an entirely different gun. It's Clark Kent. He went from undershirt to full suit and overcoat. I guess his nipples got cold. "Why'd you make me do it?" he asks. Because you're dumb? Lana whispers, "It was all for you." These people really need the help of some experienced life planners. Murder is no way to solve these simple problems. Lana dies. Not very dramatically. Jimmy pulls something from his coat pocket. It's the cigarette case. A bullet is stuck to it. Smoke comes off it. "Gardenia," Jimmy whispers. No, "Rosebud!" Look at your script! Clark says that he should have known better. "Rule #1," he says, almost looking directly at the camera, "never get mixed up with a girl." It's the rare solo Gayest Look of the Episode. This is practically a PSA for homosexuality. "Not when you're on The Job," Clark says. No, no, it's, "never give jobs when you're...on the lam." Or something. I forget. But it's reeeeaaally dirty. "On the job?" Jimmy asks. Clark presents a badge that's in the shape of the Superman crest. He works at a sci-fi convention? Or a pewter factory?

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Smallville

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