Smallville
Noir

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Omar G: C+ | Grade It Now!
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The Big Snooze

Jimmy notices Lex Luthor sitting at a table getting his cigarette lit. That's not a euphemism. Papa Luthor is there, having lit the ciggie. Lex asks who's the new heavy. Papa says to relax; he's got nothing on Clark Kent except his tab. "You're losin' your grip, Paps. You used to run this town," Lex tells him. Lex says the only shots Papa's calling now are from behind the bar. Papa gives Lex a hurt look as Lex takes another drag of his cigarette and grins. Lois continues to sing. Clark asks Jimmy which Luthor he's after. I'll take the bald one! He tells Jimmy to wipe that "newsy smile" off his face. He says Lex can smell fresh blood a mile away. This is going to The Gay Place. "Fresh!?" Jimmy says, offended. "Now you listen here, Kent!" Myah! See? Myah! Clark tells him to relax. "I'm one of the good guys," he says. "That's what they all say," Jimmy tells himself. Papa Luthor sidles up to the bar with smoke all around him. He tells Jimmy that if it's Young Luthor he's "tailing" (dirty!), Papa's got a tip. On the house. Papa says that every night, Lex makes a big exit and makes sure everybody sees him. But when his car pulls out, he's not in it. Jimmy does a nice job not coughing with smoke in his face. Lois goes "pitchy" as they say on American Idol. Lex gets up with his crew and leaves the room. "...I deserve!" Lois warbles. Eek. This didn't end well. Jimmy watches as Lex leaves the club with his two goons. They pay the cigarette girl on the way out. Jimmy prepares to follow.

The back alley. Lex, with his black hat and white scarf, gets into a waiting car. The camera shifts to the right. The car pulls away. The camera moves past a barrier where a cut was made, and we see Lex standing right there. He looks around and jumps into another car. He pulls away. In plain sight, where anybody could have seen him. He doesn't notice that Jimmy ran out of the club right behind him and is following in a car that was parked right behind. Side-wipe!

The Barnness Of Noiritude. Lex walks in on the ground floor of the barn. Lois Lane, who apparently knows how to teleport, comes down the stairs. She's been waiting for him. They kiss. Jimmy is there, sneaking about. Lois says she can't take it anymore. She thinks Lex is never going to let her into his real life. Lex tells his "Angel" that his wife will be out of the picture soon enough. Lois tells him he can't keep toying with a girl's heart like this. Maybe she should have sung "Don't Phunk With My Heart" at the club. She needs to know what's real. Lex swings her around. "Is this real?" he asks, and he plants another one on her. Jimmy, with his giant camera, pops out and takes a picture of them. What a scoop! The flash pops. "Hey!" Lex yells. Jimmy runs away. Lex pursues. Side-wipe!

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Smallville

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