Smallville
Noir

Episode Report Card
Omar G: C+ | Grade It Now!
YOU GRADE IT
The Big Snooze

Car chase. They do the old movie-background thing as the cars are in motion. Jimmy pushes the car past sixty-five. He hits a sign for a county judge named "Mortimer X. Welsh." Stock footage of car headlights. Jimmy sees a railroad crossing. He pushes his luck. Jimmy floors it and passes the crossing. Lex has to swerve to avoid the train, and he raises his hands and crosses them as his car topples over and plops down. Jimmy can't believe his luck. Lex, in the wreck, crawls out the window. He's not thrilled. Jimmy keeps driving. Stock footage of a car driving away. No fancy wipe to commercials, just a fade over dramatic music.

Commercials. Smallville Legends part three. Check it out here.

Stately Luthor Manor, nighttime, opened to with the Widening Circle Wipe. Is that really a wipe? I should know more about wiping considering I do it every day, sometimes twice. We get the fountain establishing shot, but in black-and-white. Inside, a butler is leading Jimmy "James" Olsen down the hallway. Jimmy at least has the decency not to wear his fedora inside the house. The butler leads Jimmy wordlessly to the Lair of Lex. Jimmy doesn't notice that Lana, smoking, is standing in the corner. "Did anyone follow you?" she asks. Jimmy followed the butler. Does that count? Jimmy says that he lost them hours ago. Lana saunters over. She says he shouldn't have come, and that Lex could be home any minute. She goes to the liquor stand and pours herself a drink. She's not a very convincing smoker. Lana says she can't bear this any longer. "Has it all been in my head?" she asks. No, we're in Jimmy's head this week. If you want us to be in your head for a whole episode, you should lobby the writers, but I'll warn you that we all have a cyanide pill waiting for that day. She asks if she's just been making up stories to amuse herself. If so, this is a pretty piss-poor attempt at amusement. She drinks. Jimmy tells her that he's afraid not. Jimmy hands her a small photo of Lex kissing Lois. He had time to go develop the picture and print it on a small piece of photo paper? Lana says that if she runs, Lex will track her down, and if she confronts him, he'll make it look like an accident. Maybe you should just chill, then. She breathes so that her whole body looks weird and uncomfortable. Jimmy says not to worry. He'll take care of Lex. Really? Lana gives Jimmy the doe eyes. She puts down the photo and goes to a drawer where a gun lies by itself. She puts an arm around Jimmy and shows him the pistol. She says it's for him to protect himself. She says she couldn't bear it if anything happened to Jimmy. Didn't they just meet? Jimmy is the most gullible reporter ever. The BEST at being gullible, the best, I tell ya! Their faces are close to each other. It looks like they might kiss. Instead, Jimmy just takes the gun. Lightning flashes while thunder crashes.

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16Next

Smallville

Comments

SHARE THE SNARK

X

Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP