Fucking hospital scene. What is that, twenty-five this season so far? KentFan's dad is not looking so great. Her mom is at his bedside. She turns and sees KentFan and Clark walk in. KentFan's mom looks a little frightened. KentFan rubs on Clark's chest a little. Sheriff Cheshire interrupts their little pity party and asks to speak to KentFan. For once, Cheshire doesn't make a snide remark about how she's not surprised that Mr. Clark Kent is involved somehow. Her copy of Reader's Digest must not have arrived in time for her to crib homespun similes from it. She asks KentFan if there was anybody who might want to hurt her dad. KentFan says she thought it was an accident. Cheshire says that there was some suspicious blunt trauma to the back of his head. Plus there's blood all over the inside of the walls. In another dimension. KentFan pretends to cry. Cheshire says it's possible that there was an assailant. "'Possible'?" Clark asks. Cheshire says that the basement was locked from the inside. KentFan starts crying and buries her head in Clark's chest. Cheshire walks away, her duty done. Wait, what did she do exactly, except not get her questions answered? Clark takes KentFan around the corner and asks if she had anything to do with the accident. "How could you think that?" she asks, burbling. Clark asks who else could escape from a locked basement. KentFan stops crying long enough to say, "I did it for us." See, Clark? Now that's devotion. She says her dad was trying to keep them apart. Clark tells KentFan she needs to talk to the sheriff. She refuses. Clark reaches out, seemingly for her nose, but she dissipates into green mist. Dramatic music. Green mist is dramatic!
Commercials. Is The Help going to be the worst sitcom ever? Signs point to "Yes."
Kent Farm. We couldn't afford animals this week. Clark walks into the kitchen. Guess who's there! "Clark. Hi," KentFan baby-voices. She stopped by and MamaKent asked her to stay for dinner. We see MamaKent through the doorway setting the dining-room table. Clark tells KentFan that she has to turn herself in. She chops a head of lettuce in half. Ow. "You're my boyfriend," KentFan tells Clark. "You're supposed to be protecting me like I protected you." She drops the threatening tone, comes up to Clark, and tells him that as long as he does that, his secret is safe with her. She rubs Clark's chin with her hand. He seems to enjoy it in spite of himself. She says he'll be safe and so will the people he cares about. "Is that a threat?" Clark asks. No, it's her hand. He grips her wrist tightly. She pulls away: "Tell your mom I'm sorry I couldn't stay." She disappears in a green poof. Hey, she's The Great Gazoo!