Clark asks if CuteBlonde's always been able to...to walk in the snow? Yes, it's a talent she's developed since...well, since she was able to walk. CuteBlonde says it was the meteor shower. Isn't it always? She says that one minute she was sitting on the swing set, and the next thing, she was in the middle of a cornfield. Ah. Because of the teleporting. I had a visual in my mind of her being flung a great distance, but I guess the teleporting makes a lot more sense. In Bizarro World, world, world! Oh, they're walking toward the school. She says that once she was old enough, she did some research into her condition (can we call it "Stay-in-One-Place-Challenged"?) -- Clark gets the door for her as they talk, and she thanks him -- and that it was complicated and involved quantum physics. "You're probably be bored," she says, taking off her hat and giving Clark a saucy "I dare you not to be bored" look. Clark isn't bored, he just doesn't know what the hell a "Physics" is. Do they sell those like bus passes? Clark leans in a little and sexily says, "Try me." No, really, try him. He's a good ride. "Basically, the meteor shower affected my body and allowed me to teleport myself," she says. That was the boring, complicated quantum physics explanation? "And anything you touch," Clark clarifies. She says yes -- anything she touches and wants to take with her. I thought my TV set was overheating, but it's just their chemistry. Yowza! You go, Clark! (Clark: "Where am I going?") Toothy grins. "What about you?" she asks. "Was it meteor exposure too?" I thought for a second she said "media exposure," and that Clark was damaged by too many flashes of Janet Jackson's boob. Clark sidesteps the question by saying that pretty much everything is connected to the meteor shower, right? "Right," she agrees. Pancakes, anyone? A bell rings. CuteBlonde gushes that she can't believe Clark is like her. Feminine. Pretty. Rosy-cheeked. She backs away as Clark moves toward her. They stare at each other like they really want it. Big goofy Clark grin. CuteBlonde waves bye. Clark is in luuuurve!
Oh. That other girl. Lana is pinky sneaky, using a key to bust her way into Poor Man's Wes Bentley's room. She calls his name, but there's no answer. Lana starts doing the furious search, going into his closet, digging through his books, combing the cupboards. She notices something taped up against the bottom of a shelf. She finds a pretty plain writing notebook with a blue Post-It sticking up from the top. "January 22 -- Lana seems to be growing closer now that I am not being over aggressive." He capitalizes every letter in a sentence and big capitalizes the first letter in every word, and if that's not proof that he's unstable and insane, I don't know what is. "January 24 -- Clark Somehow Is Always Near Whenever Me And Lana Are Together. This Seems To Bother Lana." See? Oh, he's right behind you! "Lana." She gasps. "What are you doing?" he asks. She asks what this is. A notepad? PM'sWB says it's private, and that he wants it back. Lana flips through it. She reads out loud: "January 11th, Lana evasive about her relationship with Clark." Interestingly, the closed captioning says "February 17." "January 17th, Clark is at the scene of another accident." The closed captioning says, "February 18, Lana and Clark share some coffee at The Talon." Why the discrepancy? Lana is mad that PM'sWB has been spying on her and on Clark. PM'sWB is wearing a black coat and some sort of roller-coaster-loop zip-up turtleneck. "Look who's talking," says PM'sWB. Bruce Willis as sperm? Lana says he threatened her, and now she finds he's been keeping tabs on her: "I want you to leave." He stops her as she tries to go, and stares at her coldly. "Guess you haven't checked tenant laws," he says. "It's not that easy to evict someone." He's the worst damn spy that ever lived. How did he lose Lana's trust so badly? Couldn't he have just lied to her and kept her from wanting to throw him out? I thought he was supposed to be smarter than this. "I'm not going anywhere," he says, with Jack Nicholson's borrowed smile. Lana closes the door and frowns. Don't piss off the princess!