High school. The exterior shot looks positively ghost-town. Inside, CuteBlonde is messing with a fiber-optic light thing that looks like it should be in the window at Spencer Gifts. (I really do think the show has an expense tab there.) Behind her? One of those Mad Scientists Electricity balls that I've seen in a past episode. She's wearing goggles and a lab coat. Clark comes up behind her. She takes off her goggles to take in his pretty, pretty countenance. Clark says he's been looking all over for her. "Yeah, you figured teleporting girl, physics lab," she says. Why did she start talking like Joey Lauren Adams? "It makes sense," she says. "That's a pretty good deduction." All right. You can stop now. CuteBlonde warns Clark that she's not always that easy to pin down. That's all right -- Clark always has the boys' wrestling team to fall back on. "So I've seen," says Clark. Coy looks. Clark says that since he's been this lucky so far (and nobody in the episode has died yet), he'd like to "get together." You know, for the econ test. Well, when you say it like that, Clark...sexy! Lots of teeth in that girl's grin as CuteBlonde asks if Clark is asking her out on a date. An econ date. It's dreamy. Macrodreamy. Clark backpedals a bit with the "uh" and the "oh" and the "nice lady!" CuteBlonde has had enough of this shit: "Clark. Would you like to go out on a date with me?" "She sounds like she's five years old," Rebecca tells me. Big, goofy, grinning close-ups. Clark doesn't mind dating this five-year-old.
Clark is still smiling like he's got a remote-controlled sex aid in his pants as he walks down the high-school hallway. The school has suddenly become populated with, you know, like, students. Clark suddenly runs into Lana, who is wearing a pink outfit once worn by Valerie Harper on Rhoda. There's even a pink headband, people. "Did you just win the lotto?" Lana asks. The sex lotto, yes -- why do you ask? Clark goes, "Wh-what?" Lana says she hasn't seen Clark smile like that in a while. Maybe it's because you've extinguished every moment of happiness in his lame life with your ever-present, rose-hued bullshit. Did you ever think about that, Lana? Clark gulps. Lana says she doesn't want to spoil his mood, but that she wanted to tell Clark something about Poor Man's Wes Bentley. She says he's been keeping a journal about her. Who on earth would devote so much writing to little old Lana Lang? I mean, really, who would sit down and write about her every day; the uninteresting things she does, the lame things she says, the walking purgatory that is her life? Oh. This show. I forgot. Lana says that the journal also includes Clark. She says she doesn't know if it's because he's obsessed with them or jealous or.... "If it's more about you." Ah yes. The Gay. I think we all saw that one coming. Clark says he'll go talk to PM'sWB. Lana tells him not to; she says she's going to have him evicted and that he won't be bothering either of them. Lana says she just wanted to give Clark a heads-up. CuteBlonde suddenly pokes her head into the conversation and sweetly says, "See you at 7?" Clark grins heartily until he looks back at Lana. His smile fades. She's the killjoy. Lana looks at CuteBlonde murderously. "Hey Lana," CuteBlonde says as she walks on. Lana keeps a frozen, hard smile on her face as Clark says, "We're in the same econ class." And Clark is about to show her his demand curve. CuteBlonde looks back over her shoulder at Clark as she rounds a corner. Lana fake-grins and walks away without another word. But not off the show for good, unfortunately.