Episode Report Card
Omar G: B | Grade It Now!
Fatal Attrition

Smallville High exterior. That sign just keeps getting more and more elaborate. But it looks like the "Home of the Crows Crows" redundant part of the sign is at half-mast. Inside, as grindy music plays, Clark is walking down the hall. Sneaky Pete -- recently seen wasting an entire episode -- comes up to him and says that he knows they've had their differences lately (for a whole one episode), but that he can't believe Clark didn't tell him. He's smiling. Sneakily. "Tell you what?" Clark asks. Pete knows about Bo's catching Clark and KentFan in the bedroom. Clark is confused. The only person who knew about that are Clark, his horny new girlfriend, and his parents. "I guess she's not as secretive as you are," Pete says. I hope he means "secretive" in the "keeping secrets" sense of the word. Clark is confused. "Anyway, man, that girl is on fire!" Pete says. Was that three lines yet? Can we dismiss him? Pete punches Clark in the chest. Clark grins weakly. Pete calls Clark a "stud," and takes off to go find another hobby that may be worthy of a Petecentric episode. How about a dangerous hang-gliding gang? "Yeah," says Clark, finally enjoying this new reputation. He might also be acknowledging my brilliant episode idea. Call me, Al.

Clark opens his locker. Inside are lots of photos of KentFan in sexy poses, as well as little red heart and star stickers. Did Clark get an A on his spelling quiz or something? Why does Clark have Wite-Out in his locker? Clark shuts his locker suddenly, lest people think something crazy like, "That boy is straight!" When he closes it, KentFan is right behind the locker door, smiling. "Good morning, gorgeous," she says. He really is. Worried, he says they need to talk. Uh oh. Clark is developing Chronic Man Fleeing Disease. He's Mr. Flinchy. Clark mentions the night before, and the pictures in his locker. "Don't you like them?" she purrs. He, he, I, just, er, I, uh.... He says that things might be moving too fast. KentFan walks away a bit and says that Clark told her he had a good time the night before. And he kissed her. True and true. Clark is embarrassed that she's being so loud in the hallway. He takes her aside. He thinks that they need to set some boundaries or limitations. She puts her arms around Clark and gets in his face. "We're special, Clark," she tells him. "People like us don't have boundaries and limitations." Tell that to Professor Xavier. A bell rings. KentFan calls Clark "sweetie" and says she'll see him later. She says she'll be thinking about him. Clark is very worried.

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