Smallville

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Omar G: B- | Grade It Now!
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World Without Lex

Opening credits. The titles are basically the same crazy 3-D ones, but with new cast members and a few new scenes picked out. Clark appears unshaven in a scene we haven't seen before during Tom Welling's bit. Next billed is Allison Mack, looking quite lovely. Third is Erica Durance with that same crazy boob shot of her coming out of a lake wearing a red bikini. She's also wearing her red latex cage-fighting outfit. But we should take her much more seriously this season. Aaron Ashmore as Jimmy Olsen is billed next. He is Jimmy James Bond, sadly. Cassidy Freeman is Tess Mercer. Wonder if she's related to Gordon from Half-Life. Next is Sam Witwer, who has a buzz-cut hairdo. Justin Hartley as Oliver is next, and yes, he is shirtless. You're welcome. And that's your cast. "Save Me" still works as a theme song, I suppose.

Commercials. Shia LaBeouf is in a new movie. Are there Transformers in it? No? Not interested.

Stately Luthor Manor. But can you really call it that, now that all the Luthors are gone? (Long sigh.) We follow a pair of sensible black shoes down a hallway worn by a woman who is also carrying a black feather duster. It's a comely lady with dark brown hair wearing a Halloween French maid costume. Wait a minute... that's no lady! That's Lois Lane! She looks different. Softer. Prettier. Less apt to say something ridiculous. Hmmm. I am very suspicious. She walks into the former Lair of Lex wearing an unnecessarily short skirt and carrying a little plastic tray of cleaning materials. There are white sheets over all the furniture, even though it's only been four weeks since Lex disappeared. Lois gets on her knees and moves aside a white sheet to get a lock on a cabinet. She pulls out a small drill and tries to break through the lock. It works, somehow. Inside is a small box that says, handily, "Black Creek Detainees." Inside that box is what appear to be several metal USB flash drives, each engraved with a range of letters of the alphabet, corresponding presumably to names of people and their files. Quite an organized system you've got there, bad guys. Lois grabs the drive that says, "S-Z" and stuffs it down her bra. You'd need to give a search party about a week to find it in there.

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Smallville

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