Smallville

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Omar G: B- | Grade It Now!
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World Without Lex

The Daily Planet building stands dark against the big, bright moon in the background. Inside, Number Two is sitting at Lex's old desk. Tess shows up at the door, asking what his "Owls" up north have heard. Who? Number Two says they intercepted a signal from the jerkoffs who attacked them. Tess says they're not the only ones good at keeping secrets. She tries to question Regan about his flight up north right before Lex disappeared. He says he was fulfilling Lex's request for absolute discretion. Tess asks if he's looking for Lex or just covering his own tracks. Wow, this lady does not fuck around. I mean, figuratively, at least. Who knows about the other way? Number Two, annoyed, stands up and announces he's been doing research on Tess Mercer. Oh, great: exposition break. She taught herself to read in a Louisiana swamp house. Got into Harvard at 15 and goes deep-sea diving in her spare time. Congratulations, Regan, you know how to use the "Trivia" section of IMDB. He takes the time to rattle off these facts and then says he doesn't give a damn about them. Only he took the time to do the research and then rattle off that research. Oh, Regan. We're gonna have to take you back to Henchman College. Number Two says that nobody questions his loyalty. Tess, her eyes freakily unblinking, says that if she found out someone was holding back information that could help her find Lex, she'd have to act accordingly. She'd kill you with an accordion. "Are you threatening me?" Regan asks. Regan needs T.P. for his bunghole! He is The Great Cornholio! Tess suggests that Regan find Lex or he'll be "summarily terminated." That means he'll be fired next summer, in summary. Number Two just stares at Tess, biting his lip, thinking, "Lady... you got more balls than I do. I like that!"

Montana. Still no smoke coming out of that smokestack. I'm starting to think it's a fake. Chloe is back in her Assist The Government chair. She asks what an "Out-of-work newspaper hack" could do to help fight terrorists. Didn't we just go over this? Also, "Hack?" Shouldn't you save that term for Lois? Or have we officially enacted retroactive continuity in which Chloe is the unskilled journalist and Lois is a genius? Because I missed that episode. Chloe asks if she's going to help by playing Sudoku. Lab Nerd says what's on her screen are a bunch of scrambled transmissions from terrorists who are communicating with each other. Lab Nerd says none of their computers could figure out the algorithm, so now they want Chloe to crack the code. Chloe stares at a bunch of Matrix-like code dropping down on the screen. She squints. "Let's do this," she says. Lab Nerd says they're looking for three phone numbers. Chloe starts reading off digits (but it still careful to include a "555" in there).

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Smallville

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