Smallville
Onyx

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Omar G: B | Grade It Now!
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Tag-team Lex

Parry, dodge, thrust. "Stop it, Lex, stop it!" Papa yells. EvilLex asks the question we've all wondered: whether this transformation of Papa Luthor's is genuine. Lex leans forward as they lock foils. He wonders if Papa Luthor is so far gone, he's afraid to ask that question himself. Lex asks what's inside. "Is it really just puppies and hugs now, or is there something else twisting in your gut, squirming to be free again?" Papa Luthor, now furious, elbows Lex and pins him on the floor with his foil. He's huffing and puffing, looking anything but benevolent. "I knew you were in there somewhere, Father," EvilLex says calmly. EvilLex gets up slowly. He swings his foil and tosses Papa Luthor's away. "You should have stayed in prison," EvilLex says, "you were safer there." He slashes Papa Luthor across the face but good. Papa Luthor grunts. His cheek is bleeding. Lex tosses his foil to Papa Luthor. Smiles. Walks out of the room to let PapaLuthor stew in those delicious, spicy juices. Papa Luthor's nostrils flare. His mouth twitches. We go to commercials.

You should see how many truck commercials we have to fast-forward through in Texas. It's insane.

Kent Farm, daytime. The cows think, "Is the show still on the air? Because, frankly, we've stopped watching." Inside the barn, Clark finds Lana sitting on the stairs, crying. So she didn't catch him performing any super-chores out there? Fabulous. Clark asks if she's all right. Perfect. Couldn't be better. Lana says yes, then corrects herself with the slightly more accurate, "No." Lana the red-nosed show-drag asks if he heard that Lex is going to close the Talon. It's news to Clark. Clark says he didn't hear that from Lex, and he was with him the night before. Cough just napping cough. Lana explains about Lex waiting at her apartment and how he acted like a different person. "Maybe he was," Clark says mysteriously. Lana asks if Lex is having another psychotic break. They can't keep track of Chloe's attitude toward Lex, but they can continue to remember to bring up his "psychotic breaks." Clark says it's more complicated than that. And twice as sexy. Lana takes us back to waters that have been charted years ago: she says it's always the way when you think you know someone, but there's a side you don't see. BO-ring! Clark takes the hint, as well as a deep breath. He says Lana's seen him at his worst. "And at your best," she says. So what was her point, exactly? "Lana," Clark begins, but the cell phone that he conveniently owns or doesn't own, depending on the situation, interrupts. Clark answers it without excusing himself. It's Chloe.

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Smallville

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