Smallville
Oracle

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Omar G: B | Grade It Now!
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Bo-Back Mountin'

Metropolis at night. Clark and Chloe have gotten into LuthorCorp's offices and are walking about like there are no security cameras. Just before they get into Papa Luthor's office, Clark looks like he's going to break a door. Chloe stops him and mentions the alarm: "I cloned the transponder from Lionel's keyboard so we could override the digital cipher." Yeah, Chloe, cipher this. I don't believe that bullshit for a second. The doors swing open. "I need a nightlife," Chloe says. It is a little sad that Chloe hasn't dated anyone in so long. Give her a boyfriend at the Planet fer frick's sake already. Clark tells Chloe to look for something that might tip them off to what Bo Duke was talking about. Good idea, doofus. Chloe says she's not likely to find a file called "My Evil Scheme." Item 1: Kill puppies. Item 2: Skin puppies, sell to Cruella DeVil. Chloe sits at the desk, where there's a laptop open. She starts typing as she asks whether Papa Luthor may have told Lex about Clark's secret. Clark says that knowledge is power (poor Clark, then), and that Papa Luthor would never level the playing field. Chloe says that they have to put their faith in Luthor family dysfunction. She enters a password into the LuthorCorp login page. It is incorrect. Clark tells Chloe to check Papa's calendar. So his login is protected, but his calendar is available for all to find? Chloe says that she's multitasking as fast as she can. Why don't you try cloning the cipher or some bullshit like that, Chloe? Chloe finds a "Friday May 05" entry in the calendar. "Drink Cinco margs at El Chico's, happy hr. with the girls." Wait, wrong calendar. This one says, "1 p.m. MEETING LEON ROWLAND - THE METROPOLIS INQUISITOR RE: THE WEAPON." Chloe says that it's that newspaper's top reporter. There's also a Thursday, May 11 calendar item for a meeting with THE PENTAGON, RE: THE WEAPON. Wow, way to not tip your hand with that, Papa Luthor. You are a truly magnificent yet computer-illiterate bastard. Chloe asks if Clark thinks he's the weapon in question. Because everybody wants to see his scud missile? Clark stares at the Pentagon item, and the music gets dramatic to try to convince us that there is drama here. There's really not.

Commercials. Ha. That old-school dancing Pepto-Bismol commercial just cracked me up.

Luthor's crib at night. Lex is standing by the fire, reading something. Lana comes in. She says she brought coffees, but that she had a three-hour conversation with Lois and the coffee got cold. Also, Lana had to kill Lois, or it would have been a six-hour conversation. Lex can't wait to read about "Lex and Lana" in the early edition. Dude, just go to the forums. Lana says that Lois "isn't like that." She says that Lois is a good listener and has been a good outlet for Lana with everything that's been going on. Oh, has she? Because I thought she was just an obnoxious jerk. So glad to hear that there's offscreen evidence to the contrary. It makes my job so much easier. Lex sighs. Lana says it sounds like Lex needs an outlet, too. A dark-haired farmboy outlet with a female viewpoint. Lex says that something has happened, and that he's been wrestling on whether to let Lana in on it. He says she's the only person in the world he can share it with, and that it's bigger than either of them. It's, like, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar-sized! Dude, spill it already! Lana says that she trusts Lex. Lex says it's not about that; it's about him trusting Lana. He adds that it's about how deep Lana wants to get. He opens up a folder to show to her, saying that what he's about to show her means she's "all in. 100%." Lana looks at the folder. Looks at Lex. I think she's all-in.

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Smallville

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