Smallville

Episode Report Card
Tippi Blevins: C | 1 USERS: A+
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Red Dawn

Previously on Smallville: Tess accused a confused Lois of stealing her alien orb and then they got into a fight about it. Lois found the Legion ring and traveled a year into the future, then came back to the present with an alien assassin on her tail. Lois only remembered her trip to the future in sporadic visions and weird dreams, which she told her therapist. Zod and his soldiers don't have any powers under the yellow sun. Tess plotted to build a solar tower. Alia the alien assassin attacked Clark, accusing him of destroying the world. Lois kissed Clark and then had a seizure filled with futuristic visions and passed out.

LuthorCorp. Oliver is pacing in his office. Doesn't Queen Industries have their own office building? He's on the phone barking orders to someone about getting a "Dr. Weiss" the Metropolis General to treat Lois. Remember when Lex used to fly in specialists all the time for his friends? Those were the days. He's just hanging up when Clark comes in to tell him that Lois is missing. Oliver's all, "What do you mean 'missing'? You took her to the hospital! You've been with her all night! How did someone with superhearing and superstrength and superspeed let such a thing happen?" He didn't say the last part, but I think it's implied. Clark's explanation is that he stepped out to check his cell phone and when he got back to the room, she was gone. This... this pains me with stupidity. Not that it was (very) stupid of Clark to step out for a moment, but it's a stupid, flimsy way of moving the kidnapping plot forward. Clark is panicky and hands over Lois's charts to show Oliver that no one signed her out. Oliver tells him that Emil requested a copy of Lois's medical records. "Why would Emil care about Lois?" Clark asks. Well, off the top of my head, there's the fact that he's a doctor and he works at the hospital where she's been admitted. But there I go with the crazy logic talk. Oliver says Emil wouldn't care: "But maybe the person he's working for would." "Chloe," Clark says, looking like he just tasted a little nugget of hot, bitter barf in the back of his throat.

Unknown dark hallway. Two uniformed men are dragging an unconscious Lois between them, her bare feet sliding along the floor. They carried her out of the hospital like that? No stretcher? How very cumbersome. That just makes it especially stupid that Clark didn't know any of this was happening. They drag her through some double doors into some kind of exam room. The next shot is of her lying on a clear plastic table with some glowing green sensors and wires attached to her temples. Stuart enters the room, wheeling in a big tank of all-purpose kryptonite liquid. He says to the room's other, unseen occupant: "Spying on Lois's computers and hacking into her therapist's files... did you really need to escalate to kidnapping from a coma ward?" We're meant to suspect he's speaking to Chloe, but as the camera pans over, we see that it's Tess. Which, you know, duh. Tess says this is her chance to solve the mystery surrounding Lois. Good luck with that. I'm still trying to figure out why she's on this show. Stuart wonders if it has something to do with Lois's futuristic visions, causing Tess to give him a death stare. He's all, "What, I can't hack into these files and not read them!" She lectures him about boundaries, which I wish they'd played for a little humor, because someone who kidnaps people isn't really the patron saint of boundaries. Stuart hooks Lois up to a computer. A few grainy images flash on the monitor. Tess bitches about the reception until she sees an image of Zod's solar towers. "The plans haven't even gone public yet," Tess says, realizing this means Lois really did go to the future. Stuart tappity-taps at the computer and says Lois is remembering something.

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Smallville

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