Episode Report Card
Tippi Blevins: C+ | Grade It Now!
Uncle Sam Wants You... to Die!

Previously on Smallville: Clark told Lois that he's super, thanks for asking!; Lois's daddy, General Sam Lane, was trying to get the Vigilante Registration Act passed in the Senate; Sam softened toward vigilantes when the Blur/Clark saved Lois's life; Rick Flag has all the super team members tagged so that the Suicide Squad could track them; Warp blew up anti-vigilante headquarters; Oliver Queen came out of the superhero closet; Arthur "Aquaman" Curry showed up to take off his shirt, swim around a bit and make the other bad actors on the show seem a little better by comparison.

Currently on Smallville: We join a military cabal in a dark, flag-festooned room somewhere inside Fort Ryan, Kansas. "Liberty, freedom, equality," says an older gentleman wearing the uniform of a U.S. Army general. As representatives from the other military branches listen, he goes on: "These are the values that we have been charged with defending." He is played by Michael Hogan, whom some may remember as Colonel Tigh on Battlestar Galactica, but who is also kind of giving me a John McCain vibe. He says that these principles are being threatened as never before. The other military bigwigs don't seem quite as fearful. "With all due respect, Slade," says a naval officer, "our troops have worked hard to secure this time of peace." Slade fears that people looking for someone to rescue them will look to the vigilantes as heroes. He compares them to Stalin, Hitler and Saddam Hussein, all viewed as saviors by their countrymen until they turned out to be tyrants. The Navy guy scoffs. Slade, who must have skipped breakfast judging by how hard he's chewing the scenery, says, "The trust of the American people doesn't live in the Oval Office anymore." That... surely can't have been precipitated by the arrival of the vigilantes. Or did Nixon not exist in the DC universe? Anyway, Slade shows them a board with pictures of the show's heroes, past and present. There are photos of Oliver, Kid Flash, Kara and Clark's burnt S, along with a pencil sketch of Dinah. The other pictures are just black silhouettes; I think one of them is Zatanna. A woman in Army dress joins them and tells them about the act of terrorism against that anti-vigilante office. Slade says that the President has put him in charge of the Vigilante Registration Act. Surprisingly, none of the vigilantes have signed up. He swears that's all about to change.

We move next to a deep-sea drilling platform off the coast of Florida. Two figures swim toward it at super-speed and then launch themselves out of the water. A young woman with auburn hair and a skimpily useless wetsuit lands on the platform. Arthur Curry lands beside her, in his immensely more practical wetsuit. He rips a door off its hinges. Alarms blare. "Make sure everyone's out," he says to his lady companion. Back at Fort Ryan, the bigwigs get word that there's been a breach at "Poseidon 3459." Slade uses the attack to prove to the others just how right he is about the vigilantes. "It's time we took these 'heroes' under our control," he says, "and proved who is really fighting for truth, justice and the American way." OK, Clark really can't use that slogan now. As the sun sets, A.C. and his companion are just walking up onto shore. They embrace each other and kiss. In the distance behind them, the platform explodes in a huge fireball. Somebody save all the damn poor fish and other creatures before they get boiled alive or choked with pollution!

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