Smallville
Perry

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Omar G: B | Grade It Now!
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Perry White Is All Right

Kent Kitchen. Pete and Clark are looking outside, where an X Styles van is parked. Pete makes a crack about Clark and paparazzi. Perry's got an entire camera crew. Pete tries to put a positive spin on things: there's only one crew, and the solar flare thing should be over soon. Clark is mad. He's a prisoner in his own house. He needs some Garbo sunglasses. Clark suddenly moans and puts his fingers to his temples. It's a message...from the Queer Eye guys! They're saying...ditch...the flannel. Clark suddenly yells for Pete to get down. Clark's eyes are all red. He blasts a ray of ejaculated fire toward the window. Clark looks up and realizes that he just set the curtains on fire. Clark grabs a thick blanket and starts to put out the fire. As he does, he burns his hand. Clark is kind of funny when he's in pain. Bo brings out a fire extinguisher and puts out the remaining flames like a real man. Clark's hand hurts. Ow, hand. His powers are gone again. Clark hopes he doesn't burn the farm down. Clark is frustrated. Clark is sad. Clark can't stay there.

Most obvious ruse in the world: the red truck rushes out of the barn and toward the road. MamaKent comes outside and yells, "Clark! Clark! Come back!" The truck comes out of the farm and nearly runs over the camera crew. Perry scrambles to get his crew into the van. They give chase. The truck is followed by the X Styles truck and its huge mounted satellite dish. The Kent truck suddenly skids. The camera crew truck tries not to crash into it. Perry and a cameraman get out and start shooting. Bo gets out of the truck. "Clark is not here," he says. Damn, Perry, were you drunk again? That ruse was so obvious! Bo asks Perry to leave his family alone. Perry is pissed.

Back at the farm: Clark and Pete, carrying sleeping bags, come out through the front door. Clark thanks Pete for "doing this." They're going camping! What wholesome boys! Pete says he's always up for a little "Undercover Brother." Ah. Yes. I see why they never let Pete talk. Pete says the plan is for them to camp out and check in with the parents in the morning. Great. I wanna see roasted weenies later.

Talon. The sign is, "Open Mike Night," shower, Talon, etc. Lana ran out of things to say years ago. It took the sign only two seasons to be milked to death. Inside, Lana -- not happy -- drops a small placard at the table where Perry White is trying to enjoy some coffee. Perry reads it out loud: "We reserve the right to refuse service to anyone." Lana says that Perry might be more comfy at the Wild Coyote. He says he was until they threw him out. Whatever. She wants him to leave. Perry follows Lana, nearly knocking over a waitress in pink. It's the Talon uniform! Perry tells Lana that he sometimes lets his enthusiasm for a story outweigh his good sense. Lana asks if that's an apology. Perry sputters, but says that he's a jerk. He says he's got broken engagements and sleepless nights to prove it. Lana asks why he doesn't just quit if his job bothers him so much. Perry says he's a journalist; it's in his blood. He says that sometimes you have to push to get the truth. Because it's out there. But not on X Styles. Lana offers to call Perry a cab. Perry says it won't come; he's had issues with not paying fares. Perry offers a deal: he'll stay out of Lana's life permanently. She has to give him a ride to the bus stop. Lana goes to get her coat. For that sultry, hot weather from the heat wave of last week. Perry grins and takes a swig from his flask.

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