Smallville
Perry

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Omar G: B | Grade It Now!
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Perry White Is All Right

Kent Farm. Bo Duke is fixing a damn tractor. Their machinery never works. They should just go Amish already and get it over with. Clark tells Bo that Perry left. Bo says he's been trying to get his tractor up on a block (white automotive fashion!) for an hour. He asks Clark for help. Clark tries to lift the tractor. Nothing happens. He needs Superhero Viagra. Clark tries again. He even grunts. Clark says it's like he's lost all his strength. Bo tells Clark to give it one more try. (But not the old college try, because the show's not there yet.) Clark tries again, and the tractor flies the fuck up into the sky and far away. It hurtles through the air hilariously. Clark and Bo watch it go and wait for it to land on a kindergarten class.

Instead, we cut to Perry and his flask. He's unscrewing the top when the tractor lands upside down right in front of him. It smashes. Perry looks at it. His expression is, in a world of mass consumerism, totally priceless. He turns over the flask and pours out his drink without changing expression. Clark superspeeds into the scene, which Perry notices. He and Clark exchange a "busted!" look. Commercials.

The guy in the new McDonald's commercial totally rules.

It's a Kansas tractor pull. Literally. A tow truck is trying to figure out what the fuck to do while Sheriff Cheshire surveys the scene. She is, as always, creepy and scary. She finds a license plate lying bent on the street. She asks Bo, who's now on the scene, how his tractor ended up scattered on the road. "Yeah, uh," Bo begins. He's really not equipped to deal with this level of expert bullshit. Bo makes up a story about somebody trying to load their tractor on the back of a flatbed. Clark says he followed the thieves, and it must have fallen out of their truck. And then some penguins caught fire and the Hamburglar showed up! But he wanted a tractor instead of burgers! Perry breaks in (like the wind) and says it fell out of the sky. "And last night you were beggin' the nurses to keep the flying monkeys out of your room," Cheshire tells him. Touché. Disturbing, yet touché. Perry tries to get Clark to say what he knows. Clark tells the sheriff that he really doesn't know what happened. "He's hidin' something, Chief," Perry tells her. Cheshire tells Perry to catch the next bus. "And don't call me 'Chief,'" she says angrily. That's it? No investigation? She really and truly does suck. Yet I can't help liking her. As Bo and Clark walk off, Clark apologizes for wrecking the tractor. Instead of worrying about the financial ruin caused by his son, Bo is more concerned about Perry White. Perry watches them go with weary curiosity.

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Smallville

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