Opening credits. Commercials. The Macbook Air is so skinny it's making my Macbook feel a little self-conscious. There, there, Macbook. I love you for your brains, now your shiny exterior.

LuthorCorp. We don't get an exterior shot, but the metallic hallways are enough to tip us off. Boy Editor, nervous, is about to enter one of the main offices. He hesitates, and then walks in, holding some papers in his hand; it's Papa Luthor's office space. Papa, standing behind his desk and barely looking up from his own set of papers and laptop, thinks Boy Editor is there to complain about Lex's acquisition of The Daily Planet. Boy Editor says it's something a little more personal. He less-than-dramatically puts his folder on the desk and says that it's about paternity. Papa Luthor got him pregnant? Papa Luthor, bemused and a little annoyed, says that he's dealt with "nuisances" like this before, but not from an editor. Papa checks his watch and says that he's late to a meeting. He goes to put on his coat at Boy Editor says he's not above embellishing a story (he's not? Nice job, editor), but that he couldn't cook up something like this himself. He asks Papa Luthor what he'd say if he knew that Boy Editor only exists because Lex missed his baby brother. That stops Papa. Boy Editor hands him the paternity information, which didn't last very long on the desk. Papa flips through the papers. Boy Editor says that the DNA came from the cord blood of Papa's dead son. "Lex created a carbon copy," Boy Editor says. A carbon-based copy? "Call me Julian, Dad," he says. Boy Editor gives a tiresome speech about how he's risking his life just being here and that he's in control of his life now. Call Oprah, why don't you? Papa Luthor warms up to this brave, foolish youngster. "If you've got a problem with me, let's settle it now," says Julian 2: The Boring. Instead, Papa Luthor gets up close and says that, if they're truly flesh and blood, he'd like to get to know him, calling him "son." Aw.