Kynt Farm. Clark (the real one this time) whooshes into the kitchen, calling for Lana. Psst. Clark. She's fucking Matt Damon! Or Bizarro Clark. One of those two. Maybe both. Clark sees pots on the stove. Vegetables on the table. Just what in the fuck is going on here! What kind of perverted squash-and-carrots shit is going on!? Nooooo! Clark spins around. He sees a nice table setting on the dinner table. Lana finally appears, holding a wine glass. Clark is glad she's all right. Of course she's all right. She was fucking Bizarro Clark! Clark tells Lana that he's been gone for weeks. Lana tells Clark to "check the clock," reminding him that he just left to go get the shield. Clark says that wasn't him; it was a phantom. Uh. Oh. He says that the phantom looks just like him. But is much, much cooler. Clark says that Jarnelle trapped him in the Fortress, and then released him to fight the phantom. Nice job there, Jarnelle. Spot-on. Lana can't believe it. She says she was sure it was Clark. He shakes his head sadly. Lana says that Chloe thinks Clark's memory might be bad. She asks him to remember when they were in bed and he promised to fly her to Paris. Yeah. That sounds like the other guy. The one who can fly. He probably also has a nicer car and an apartment with a waterbed. HATE that guy! Lana says that they were going to leave Smallville together. "It wasn't me, Lana," says Clark. Lana finally starts to let it sink in. Like she did with Bizarro Clark. "Oh God," she says. That's also what she said with Bizarro Clark. Clark says he's sorry and that this is all his fault. This would be a lot more compelling if we hadn't already seen it played out in Face/Off. The camera spins around and goes bright and we see Bizarro Clark using his superhearing to eavesdrop. He hears Clark tell Lana that he has to get her out of there.
Suicide Slums. NotSoFine is walking around, just chill'ackin', yo. Bizarro Clark appears and steps up to him. "Change of plan," he says, his voice going even lower, as if slowed down on tape. NotSoFine asks if he's having trouble finding the scientist. Bizarro says that the Boy Scout has come back. "The prodigal son of Krypton has returned," says NotSoFine. Just shut up and calculate, all right? Bizarro says that he can kill Clark with some green Kryptonite. NotSoFine says that he'll do it. Bizarro thinks NotSoFine can barely kill a rat. So that's why you came looking for his help? NotSoFine says that, no matter his physical state, his brain remains formidable. He warns Bizarro not to underestimate him. Bizarro wants to get Lana away from Clark first. NotSoFine scoffs that Bizarro is falling prey to human weakness. Bizarro gets mad and says he's nothing like Clark. NotSoFine will divert Clark while Bizarro goes to get Lana. NotSoFine walks off. He's finally got something fun to do.