Episode Report Card
Omar G: C+ | 1 USERS: B-
Stone Face/Off

Daily Planet. Clark shows up at Chloe's desk, asking if she's all right. She's not. She's wearing the same green top, in fact. It's been a long day. Clark tells her that it was the phantom. Chloe says that explains the bizarre behavior. She asks how she should know it's the real Clark. Clark says that he needs the Kryptonian shield, but can't find it. Chloe says that's what the other Clark was looking for. Clark asks her to look him in the eye. "Nice try," she says, backing away. She says that everything about Bizarro and Clark is supposed to be exactly the same, down to their "baby blues." Clark says that if he were the phantom, his face would change in the sunlight, like Zartan. He walks into some sunlight streaming in through the window. No face change. "It's me," he whispers. Chloe goes to hug him, sighing. She says that his domineering double had her worried, but that she can help him with the shield.

Cut to a supply room where Chloe unwraps the shield from a soft yellow hankie. She says she hid the thing from the farm when Clark started acting weird. "You saved me again, Chloe," says Clark. Chloe warns him to be careful. He warns Chloe to stay back. "Dax-Ur," says Clark to the shield.

Cut to NotSoFine in the slums. He wakes up with an awful headache. He smiles.

Cut back to Clark. He teleports in a flash. Chloe watches him go. "Good luck!" she says.

Clark reappears on the set of one of those Pepsi commercials where Cindy Crawford shows up at a run-down, rural filling station. Should there be tumbleweeds indoors? Clark sees a guy working on a truck, lying underneath it. Clark says that he's looking for someone. The older gent, who looks a bit William Hurt, stands up. "Dax-Ur?" Clark asks. The man's smile fades. He pretends not to know the name. Clark says that the guy is from Krypton, and so is he. He tosses the mechanic the shield. "I'm Kal-El," Clark says. "The House of El!" Dax-Ur says with wonder. I used to do handyman work over there! He says that the Els always were survivors. Their house was buggin'!

Commercials. Ryan Seacrest's Crest breath is so fresh I can smell through my TV. Now if only the words that came out of his mouth were as minty.

The rural garage. We pan across the back of a car to show an Arizona license plate. Dax-Ur, an older gent with a balding pate and gray hair, asks how Clark came from Krypton if the portals were destroyed. Clark says that his father built a ship and sent him to Kansas. You could call it prenatal punishment. "Daddy!" yells a small boy as he enters the garage. Dax-Ur picks up the boy, Max. His wife, Grace, also comes in. She's pretty hot. Old Dax-Ur did pretty well for himself. We could speculate on the biology of Max, but the kid may have been adopted. "You have a family," says Clark after they leave. "You live like a human." Clark says he heard the only way for a Kryptonian to do that is with blue Kryptonite. Dax-Ur rolls up his sleeve and shows Clark a butt-ugly watch with a giant, obvious, light blue stone on it. Homeboy couldn't have sculpted it a little? Dax-Ur says that he didn't put the watch on overnight. (Neither would I; it looks like ass.) He sounds regretful that his work helped to create Brainiac. He realized too late that his technology (or his SCIENCE!) could lead to the destruction of worlds. Dax-Ur says that's why he left Krypton. He came to Earth to study the sun's effect on Kryptonian minerals. Dax-Ur walks out into the light and says that it was the sun's effect on him that really mattered. He became a Kryptonian sunny delight. He wanted to save the human race. Clark says that it must have been difficult for Dax-Ur to give up his abilities for Grace. "I knew in the span of a heartbeat," Dax-Ur tells him. Clark asks if he's got any more blue Kryptonite. He's totally jonesin'. "What's her name?" Dax-Ur asks. Clark looks embarrassed. Dax-Ur tells him it's all right: "It's not every day a fellow Kryptonian asks me for help." Dude is pretty cool. Clark looks relieved.

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