Smallville

Episode Report Card
Omar G: C+ | 1 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Stone Face/Off

Arizona sunset. Dax-Ur is finishing up for the evening. Someone greets him by his Kryptonian name. It's NotSoFine. Dax-Ur doesn't recognize him, and asks who he is. "You should know. You created me," says NotSoFine, adding that if Clark and Bizarro weren't so busy destroying each other, they might have figured out that NotSoFine was just using them to get to Dax-Ur. Dax-Ur tries to run. Brainiac grabs him by the bracelet arm. NotSoFine says he's damaged. He says that Dax-Ur is the only one who knows how to repair him. Dax-Ur says that NotSoFine is on his own. NotSoFine says that all he needs is the information in his mind. Dax-Ur is defiant and won't tell. "You don't have to talk," NotSoFine tells him. He spins Dax-Ur around, and two of his fingers turn into snaky silver extensions. One goes in Dax-Ur's neck. The other one goes in his temple. NotSoFine sucks out some knowledge as his eye goes green with data.

Daily Planet. Boy Editor is holding a folder with some business stories about Papa Luthor. One reads, "Lionel Luthor donates $40 million to charity." Another reads, "Lionel Luthor named man of the year." How about man of the century? Lex enters Boy Editor's office, complaining about not getting a phone call. Boy Editor says that he's been swamped. He doesn't know how Lex expects him to run a world-class paper with such a limited staff. "I don't," Lex tells him. "You're fired." Lex says he warned Boy Editor not to go near Papa Luthor: "He's dangerous." Boy Editor thinks that Papa would have found out eventually, and that Boy Editor didn't want to hide. Lex says that he trusted Boy Editor, and that he shouldn't have told Papa. Boy Editor says that Papa made a reservation at the best steakhouse in Metropolis. He gloats that Papa wants to get to know him better. Lex says he's shockingly naïve. He says he's afraid Papa Luthor will have Boy Editor killed. Boy Editor smiles at Lex's bullshit. Lex offers to get him out of Metropolis, and to a job working for the international desk of the London Times. How is that any less high-profile? There are no assassins in England? Boy Editor tells Lex to shove it. He thinks Lex is just selfish. He unwisely asks Lex if he's not used to people leaving him. He asks how many times Lex has been married. Lex calls him an "ungrateful son of a bitch" (Lex ragged on his own mom?) and says he'd still be a smudge in a Petri dish if it wasn't for Lex. Boy Editor is not intimidated. He says that Lex is so lonely and pathetic he had to build himself a baby brother. Lex grabs him and growls, "I gave you everything!" Lex says that if he turns his back, Boy Editor will lose everything. Boy Editor doesn't care about losing his office. He says it'll give him more time to enjoy the full benefits of being a Luthor: "Last I heard, I was practically made for this family." Lex stews.

Cut to later in the evening. Boy Editor and Papa Luthor are walking out of the steakhouse, which looks a lot like the Smallville Medical Center entrance. Boy Editor raves about the New York sirloins they just had. He thanks Papa Luthor. Papa says that, after a good dinner, one can forgive anybody -- even one's own relations. "That's not me. That's Oscar Wilde," Papa says. Uh...huh. Boy Editor, downcast, says he bets that Oscar Wilde's brother didn't cook him up in the lab. It's a strange, but interesting, Gayest Look of the Episode. Comparing Lex to Oscar Wilde? More delicious than New York sirloin. Papa says that he doesn't care how Boy Editor came into this world: the boy is a Luthor. He puts his hands on Boy Editor's cheeks. "You're my son," Papa says. Boy Editor smiles. A mugger is there, of course. He's wearing a hood and big sunglasses. "Give me your money, now," he says. Papa, very calmly, says they don't want any trouble. Boy Editor reaches for his wallet. "NOW!" the robber yells. Boy Editor hands over the wallet and tells the mugger to get out of there. The mugger shoots him in the chest three times. Boy Editor spins and faces Papa. "Julian!" says Papa Luthor. The mugger shoots again, getting Boy Editor in the back. He falls and lands on the ground. "Pioneer To The Falls" by Interpol plays. Creeeeeepy song. Papa Luthor kneels over the body, sobbing.

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Smallville

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