Smallville

Episode Report Card
Tippi Blevins: C+ | 1490 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Not Based on the Novel by Jane Austen

Watchtower. Clark arrives to find all the computers have gone haywire. An alarm drones and red lights flash. Emil is running around like a chicken with his head cut off, but he's glad to see Clark: "For some reason, Chloe's shut me out of all Watchtower's systems!" Clark is sympathetic, but he's got his own problems to deal with right now. "Do you know where Chloe is?" "She's gone," Emil snits. He keeps fiddling with the computers to no avail, growing increasingly agitated with every firewall he encounters. "I want you to calm down," Clark says. "Just relax for once!" Upon hearing the magic words, Emil immediately starts to mellow out. He undoes his tie and takes off his glasses. Clark calls out to him. Emil gives a lazy shrug and turns away from the computer. "Whatevs -- this place goes nuclear, it is not my problem." He starts stripping off his jacket. Bow-chikka-bow-bow! Clark, realizing he's accidentally mind-whammied him, says, "I want you to go back to the way you were." It doesn't seem to work that way, though. Emil grabs himself a beer from the fridge and starts lazing around like a cleaner-looking version of Matthew McConaughey. Clark tries to get him to focus long enough to help him with his new "meteor rock" problem. Emil thinks about it for a while and thinks Clark's hypnosis would be great with the ladies. Ew. "How do I stop putting people in hypnotic trances?" Clark asks. Emil thinks he doesn't need to stop it. "Maybe you just need to chill." Clark rolls his eyes. "Come on, there's gotta be something out there you're after." Clark frowns as a decrepit old hamster starts turning the rusty wheel in his brain. He fishes Jor-El's Kryptonian tag from his pocket and stares at it meaningfully. He whooshes away. If he'd stuck around any longer, Emil probably would have gotten down to his socks and boxers.

Sunny Kent Farm. Lois has recovered nicely from the Great Mascara Massacre of 2010 and is currently on the phone with Martha, the Senator who never visits her own hometown. Martha has apparently given Lois permission to wear her old wedding dress, which is a good thing because Lois has already dug it out of her closet and put it on. Lois thanks her and tearfully calls her "Mom." She then proceeds to dance around all over the house, pausing only long enough to call her sister and then her father with the good news. Dance, dance, dance, goes Lois. "Boom, boom, boom," goes the music.

Smallville

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