Episode Report Card
Tippi Blevins: C+ | Grade It Now!
Not Based on the Novel by Jane Austen

It's night, and Clark is standing with his back against a wall at the solar towers building site. The music that's playing is of the sort that usually accompanies a large number of clowns exiting a very small car. Clark looks uncomfortable, which is not unusual for him. Suddenly, a pair of feet in very high heels is seen scrabbling for purchase on his shoulders. Clark looks even more uncomfortable. Lois's voice apologizes from above about the heels but continues to use Clark as a living ladder. She peers over the wall at the construction site. Down on terra firma, Clark and Lois are being scoped out by a gentleman tossing out his garbage in the alley behind them. Clark offers him an apologetic smile. He calls up to Lois, "I'm not sure this is such a good idea." Gee, ya think? Lois babbles about how RAO is running double shifts on a Saturday night in violation of union rules. That... doesn't sound quite right to me. "I'm sure someone is keeping an eye on the situation," he says. That's technically true; Clark has been standing by, watching these bringers of doom being made. Lois peers up at something and loses her balance. She falls backwards off Clark's shoulders and he catches her. The comical music turns romantic. They make dopey lovey eyes at each other for a while before he sets her down. Lois goes back to babbling about the towers. She thinks something sneaky is going on because they're "moving more tech equipment than NASA" into the building. Well, they probably got a lot of that equipment at the Constellation yard sale.

She and Clark head out into the street, where some kind of Valentine's Day block party is going on. But there are lights and heart-shaped balloons and streamers strung up everywhere, like some kind of cutesy-poo version of Hellraiser. A young woman in a sexy Cupid/fairy outfit goes around handing out flowers and candies and blowing glitter on people. Clark trails after Lois, wishing she'd drop the story. She thinks he wants the story to himself. "Is there something about that tower you're not telling me?" she asks. "No," he says. He's gotten quite comfortable with lying, hasn't he? He used to look like Kryptonite vultures were feasting on his innards every time he fibbed, but now he's giving Lois an easy smile. He suggests he and Lois go out for a romantic dinner, but Lois works up a lather about how Valentine's Day is all a Hallmark conspiracy. Clark thinks she's overreacting, even by Lois's usual standards, but Lois has learned from experience that if she celebrates "V-Day" things will end in disaster. The sexy Cupid approaches with her basket of treats. Lois hungrily grabs a box of chocolates, having missed dinner. Well, if you would go to dinner with Clark like he asked, maybe you wouldn't be so hungry! Annoyingly, no one pays sexy Cupid for her wares. Nonetheless, she blows a handful of glittery dust towards Lois and Clark. As specs of dust float in slow motion toward Clark, they flash in a rainbow of colors. He looks woozy for a moment as his eyes glow in gemstone colors for a moment. He blink-blink-blinks and everything seems back to normal, including Lois, who's rushed off towards the office to get working on her story.

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