Smallville

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Tippi Blevins: C+ | Grade It Now!
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Not Based on the Novel by Jane Austen

Solar tower construction site. Clark catches up with Alia and Zod's other, heretofore unnamed female soldier. He calls her Faora. Wait... what? She's Zod's future wife? She seems so low-key. Her future self seemed so much more flamboyant. Anyway, Clark gives them the paperwork for their new identities. The two seem unsure of what to say. Finally, Alia admits she misjudged Clark, calling him Kal-El. Faora looks over her new passport. Her eyes look shiny and her nose is red, as if she's about to cry. "I was born into the military," she says, "I never had a choice to live as a civilian." She says they can't repay him. "Tell me who killed my father," Clark says. They remain silent. Clark asks again, but he doesn't say the right words, so his powers of persuasion don't work on them. Faora warns him to be careful. Zod still has loyal followers; if Clark goes after him, there'll be war.

Kent Farm, where mutant sunflowers bloom all winter long and the trees are as green as a Leprechaun's underpants. Clark returns home to find Lois slaving over a hot oven. She's wearing a '50s-style turquoise dress with heels and an apron. Her hair's been swept into a conservative updo. "Hey, sweetie pie!" she greets him, her oven mitts laden with baked goods. Clown music plays. Clark is ever so confused by this scene of domestic bliss. Lois explains she's moved in, but she'll be staying in the guest room until they get engaged. The music segues into a funnier version of the Jaws theme. Lois's words penetrate the dense fog of Clark's brain. "Engaged?" Lois beams at him. Commercials!

Back from the break, Lois is vigorously sawing through a charred roast. Clark sits at one end of the dining table, still stunned from these latest developments. Clark tries to sneak his portion of the roast to Shelby while Lois isn't looking, but the dog's like, "If I want to taste crap, I can lick my own butt!" Clark thanks Lois for the meal. "I am just so proud of you for bringing home the bacon, the least I can do is cook it up in a pan!" She pours his beer and adds, "And I'll never let you forget that you're the man!" I bet she's even slathered herself in Enjoli. Clark is growing more confused by the moment. "Did something happen?" he asks. She says that he wanted a more "traditional" relationship and he was just so persuasive. So is this Clark's idea of a traditional relationship, or Lois's? Because what the hell decade were these people born in? [Presumably, this is Lois's clich├ęd understanding of "traditional." - Zach] Clark wishes for the old Lois, but she says it's too late. "I quit my job at the Planet," she tells him. Somehow, this shocks Clark more than any of the other oddities. He tells her she can't quit. "That job is your life!" "Now my life is with you," she says. She drops repeated hints about them getting married. Clark stands up from the table and makes an excuse about needing to go back to work. He gets out the door as fast as possible without actually breaking into superspeed.

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Smallville

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