Smallville
Phantom

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Opening credits. I think we'll see some changes in these next season. Can they be animated like the Pink Panther movies? Pretty please?

Commercials. What'll I do all summer without you, Toyota Yaris?

Stately Luthor Manor. Lair of Lex. Lex is on the phone, telling someone that the creature can't survive outside of a human body. Sounds like Wilt Chamberlain. Lex wants the eyes of every man, woman and child checked. Lex ends his conversation when he notices Papa Luthor standing in the room. Papa calmly grabs himself a blu botol of water from the bar and opens it. "You look worried, son," he says. I think he got a haircut. He asks if everything is all right. Lex, tense, says that Papa Luthor should know. Lex says that ever since he started wearing a wedding ring, Papa Luthor's been one step ahead of him. Papa says he doesn't have time for this and has things to do. Lex asks if Papa had a private screening of the DVD Lana stole from him. Sarcastically, Papa says he hoped marriage would ease some of Lex's paranoia. Lex says he has security footage of Lana opening his briefcase and watching the DVD. Lana didn't remember the security cameras, huh? Lex doesn't think Lana would do anything like that unless she was coerced. Papa chuckles. Lex says that it may be hard to believe, but Lana loves him. Yeah, about that...Papa says that Lex knows so little about women. Now, about strapping young farmboys, Lex knows plenty. Papa, standing in the background blur while Lex faces us in the fore, says that losing his mother at a young age didn't help Lex in that area. "Lana does not love you," Papa Luthor says clearly. Lex, angry, turns. Papa says that the only reason she agreed to marry Lex is that Papa gave her a gentle, yet firm nudge. Lex, stunned, says, "Using my wife against me? That's deplorable, even for you." Oh, let's just be an evil family, already. It'll be fun! Lex says that whatever was owed before, now they're even. "I want you out of my life!" Lex tantrums. Papa doesn't think Lex will get rid of him that easily. He smirks. Lex is a sad, broken man.

Kent home. MamaKent is staring at a photo of a young Bo Duke holding in his arms an even younger Clark Kent. Clark walks in through the front door as MamaKent stands in a hallway next to the stairs. He says the car's ready. Clark, wearing a plain blue T-shirt, says that if MamaKent is half as good a senator as she was a mom, the country's in good hands. Sure, the prospect of a 1-to-49 vote really makes me sleep easier at night. MamaKent, wearing a flattering tan business suit, says she always thought Clark would be the first to leave the farm. Clark says that Washington D.C. is only a few more seconds away than Topeka for him. MamaKent says she knows this has been a difficult year for Clark. And for us, too! My poor, twisted hands! When I touch my wife, it's with bent, monstrous claws. She says it's been especially tough since Lex and Lana got married. Yeah, thanks for bringing that up again, Mom. Clark reminds her that she always says some things are just meant to be. MamaKent tells Clark that if he thinks he should get some distance by moving away from Smallville; that the farm shouldn't keep him here. Clark, taken aback, says that the farm is his home and that it's been in their family for over a hundred years. "Someone has to take care of it," he says. MamaKent tells him that it doesn't have to be Clark. You're kind of running out of family members, no offense. "Just because I'm leaving doesn't mean you have to stay," she says. The contract's through Season 7. And the show's not called After-Smallville. But I suppose if Clark could find a way to share his powers with the Pussycat Dolls.... There's a knock at the front door and it opens. A woman with a very bright smile tells them it's time to go. She's quite attractive. I don't want to tell you how to run your post-farm, single-woman life, MamaKent, but maybe you should, you know...experiment a little. Abuse your power a bit. Come on, it's Washington! Live a little! "I love you," MamaKent says to Clark. Clark digests that. They hug. "I love you too, Mom," he tells her. They're both sad. Wide shot of the hallway as they continue to hug. MamaKent pulls away, holding Clark's hands, then heads for the door. She turns for one last look. The camera loves her, but also respects her for her mind. Her lips make a sad little move and she closes the door. She's gone. We really, really loved you, MamaKent. Even when they wrote you badly. See ya on C-SPAN, Senator.

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