Smallville
Pilot

Episode Report Card
Omar G: B- | 2 USERS: C-
YOU GRADE IT
A Pilot Doesn't Have to Fly

Bo is out back with the wood chipper and a pair of goggles. He sees Clark and lays in immediately. "I know how much you want it, son. But you can't keep it." Superrationalizer says he saved the guy's life. "So you think you deserve a prize?" Bo asks. He's got a point. Clark offers to take the old truck and give the new one to Mom and Dad. Bo tells Clark that Daddy Luthor has overtaken area farms and gone back on his word. "You're judging Lex on what his father did?" Clark asks. Bo says he just wants Clark to know where the money for the truck came from. Clark looks queasy at that thought. It's not easy being ethical and super at the same time. Bo tells Clark it's normal to be upset. "'Normal'?" Clark yells. "Is this normal?" He sticks his hand in the wood chipper. Bo runs to Clark, but it's okay. Clark's hand is fine and intact. But isn't the wood chipper ruined now? Clark tells Bo that he was hit at 60 mph by Lex's car. "I'd give anything to be normal!" Clark mopes, and runs upstairs. Bo and Martha exchange a significant look. The sad music of parental angst plays.

Upstairs, Bo finds Clark angsting away. "It's time, son," Bo booms at poor Clark. "Time for what?" "Time for the truth." He gives Clark a card of some sort with symbols on it. It's wrapped in a cloth. Bo says it's from Clark's parents. His real parents. Bo tells Clark that he's tried to decipher the letters on the card, but it's not in any language known to man. "Your real parents weren't exactly from around here," Bo says. "Where were they from?" Clark asks. Bo looks at the telescope meaningfully. "I supposed you stashed my spaceship in the attic," Clark says. "Actually it's in the storm cellar." And so it is. They go to the storm cellar, and the cleaned-up pod is there. Clark freaks out. "This is a joke, right?" Then he gets mad. "You should have told me!" he seethes. Then he runs off really, really fast as Bo calls after him.

Creepy Buffy-reject graveyard. Lana shows up with, of all things, a brown horse and some flowers. "Who's there?" she asks. "It's me. Clark." "Clark Kent?" she asks. No, Clark the candy bar. He offers to go, but she tells him to wait. They both admit that it's strange to be in a graveyard. But at least Lana's got family there. "What's your story?" Clark asks roughly. "Can you keep a secret?" Lana asks. How is it a secret that her parents got meteorited? Lana tells Clark that she came to talk to her parents. She tells Clark about her parents dying when she was three, and introduces Clark to the dead folks. "Yeah, he is kinda shy," she tells her parents. Wow. Whack Girl. Her ghost mom, she says, wants to know if Clark is upset about a girl. Her dad wants to know if he's upset about a guy. Where my slash fiction writers at? Heeeeey! Hooooo! She credits her dad with having a twisted sense of humor. "Seriously, Clark. Why are you out here?" Lana finally says. Clark broods and moans and whines, but because of his superpowers, it's much more powerfully annoying that when a regular teen does it. Lana tells Clark about a dream of living in Metropolis with her folks. Clark notices the dates of the parents' deaths on the gravestone. Then he fake-speaks with the parents, revealing that Lana is never alone and that her dad thinks she's a shoo-in for homecoming queen. Two creepy people. They're perfect for each other.

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Smallville

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