Smallville
Pilot

Episode Report Card
Omar G: B- | 3 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
A Pilot Doesn't Have to Fly

Strummy-strum crap rock, again, as Chloe and Sneaky Pete dance the Non-Threatening Dance of Interracial Non-Dating. Lana and Jocko are slow dancing with their mutual crowns on their heads. Outside, Scarecrow Boy is breaking into the sprinkler system with plans of making an electricity soup out of the dance. "You need to stop this," Supermope says, suddenly appearing. This is the best villain they can come up with? A nerd with a grudge? Scarecrow Boy tells Clark that the people inside the building aren't his friends. I can attest to this, what with all the betting going on at Clark's expense. Clark doesn't care: "They never did anything to you!" Scarecrow Boy says he's doing it for Clark and all the other hopeless nerds. Clark takes the blame for Scarecrow Boy's current state, even though it really wasn't his fault. Billy Bob Thornton voice: he ought not to talk like that, he was just a boy. "I have a gift and a purpose," Scarecrow Boy says. Clark does a cool reappearing thing where he's on one side and then suddenly appears behind S.B. The Crow tries to electrocute Supermope, but Clark just absorbs the vibe and throws S.B. clear across the soundstage. S.B. starts up a nearby truck by placing his hand on the hood. He slams the truck into Clark and drives him through a wall. Clark is okay! Who saw that coming? Some loose water sprinkles on and under the truck. Clark and S.B. exchange a look. Then it's all electricity, all the time for Scarecrow Boy. In a lame resolution that makes me wince with the power of a million white-hot Kryptons (again), Scarecrow Boy wakes up in the driver's seat with no recollection of where he is and, we assume, having lost his electrical powers. Even Lois & Clark would have rejected this subplot.

More dancing. Clark looks on, but Lana is still clinging all over Jocko like a Courtney Love dress. A strange red light makes Clark look like a stalker. He walks outside, defeated. He spots a bunch of trucks parked together and smiles suddenly. Oh, Supermope, what ever are you up to?

A few seconds later, everybody is leaving the dance. People are laughing and pointing. The trucks have been stacked on top of each other. "Who did this to my truck!?" Jocko yells, furious. Clark is walking by a fence and just smiles, then walks on. Lana spots Clark walking away, and looks over to him, her curiosity at this mysterious mopey man piqued.

Supermope looks through the telescope at home and is interrupted by Bo, who tells him that the telescope came from Bo's grandfather. Clark is all, "Jeez, Dad, you gotta interrupt my creepy sexual fantasies now?" Clark and Bo have a moment. Bo asks if Clark is okay. "Can I answer that in about five years?" Clark tells Bo that he's glad he and Martha were the ones who found him. "We didn't find you, Clark. You found us." Bo wrinkles his worn crinkly face in happiness and walks off.

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Smallville

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