Smallville
Pilot

Episode Report Card
Omar G: B- | 3 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
A Pilot Doesn't Have to Fly

Superfamily home. Crappy acoustic alt music plays as Clark stands up in a dark room and looks through a telescope. He looks at the moon for a second, but then he turns his attention to the Lang house, where Lana is emerging from the front door. Wes Bentley, much? He spies with his super eye as she sits on the porch. Her jock boyfriend shows up and wants to get it on. She resists, saying that if her Aunt Nell (Nasty Nell. Remember her?) finds out, his life won't be worth living. It's revealed in this exchange that Nell has a thing with Daddy Luthor (maybe he's her Sugar Daddy Luthor), to whom she's sold property, and that Daddy Luthor owns the Metropolis Sharks, a football team for which Jocko wants to play. Lana brings up, out of nowhere, that Clark saved Lex's life. "Sometimes people can surprise you. I think it's kind of cool," Lana says. Jocko says he's got a scout from Kansas State coming to see him play. Lana gives him her kryptonite necklace for luck in the next game. Jocko says he can't take it and asks if it really came from...yeah, it came from the meteor that flattened her parents like a Smallville Flapjack. "So much bad luck came out of it," Lana says. "There can only be good luck left." They kiss. Superstalker looks disappointed.

Loud Limp Bizkity music. An auto-repair shop. A tough-looking guy is working on a car in the middle of the night. He pushes down a hood and is scared to see a puny guy standing there. It's Scarecrow Boy. "Jeez, kid," the mechanic says. Scarecrow Boy just stands there. "Don't I know you?" the mechanic asks. "You look like that Scarecrow Kid. Where you been?" He walks up to Scarecrow Boy and touches him, only to be shocked by a huge bolt of electricity. He tumbles over some tools. "That was twelve years ago, man. It was just a game," he tries to explain. Scarecrow Boy says he wants to play. He lifts up the mechanic, slams him in a wall, and fries him but good. We pan over to a picture of the three football jocks: it's identical to the one from the trophy case.

Clark on the farm. Supermope is walking along and spots a brand-new red truck with a big bow on it. "Hey, mom, whose truck?" he asks. "Yours," she says. It is exactly that kind of sparkling dialogue that makes me glad they got someone of Annette O'Toole's caliber to play Mama Kent. ["I assume they cast her partly because she played Lana Lang in Superman III." -- Wing Chun] She tells Clark it's a gift from Lex Luthor. The card, a lovely little one, says Lex is forever in Clark's debt. It's signed "Maniac in the Porsche." Clark can't believe it. Then he finds out Dad's got the keys.

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Smallville

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