Smallville

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Omar G: B+ | Grade It Now!
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Chloeverfield
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!
And it all comes to this: winter hiatus is upon us and this is the last bit of action we'll get (unless you're sleeping with an elf) until January 15. Hell, we might even get a "Special Guest Star" in here somewhere.

We open on a video of Chloe's wedding day. Shot in grainy hand-held, you could just call it Chloeverfield.. We see Lois, wearing a low-cut satiny orange bridesmaid's dress, and Clark, wearing a suit, staring stiffly at the camera. They're inside the Kent home, by the stairs. The voice of the cameraman tells them to be natural and speak from the heart. I don't think we have that kind of liquor budget for Lois. Clark steps in front of her and tells us (the camera/Chloe and Jimmy) that he's so happy the two of them found each other. He says they're lucky to be together and that he's going to make sure their wedding day is perfect. He smiles goofily. Lois starts speaking, but the cameraman instinctively knows to move to Lois before she speaks. He's got Spielberg's instincts! Lois tells Clark to stop hogging the spotlight. She steps in front of him and tells her "Cuz" she loves her and wishes Chloe and Jimmy long, happy years together. Oh, the years on Smallville are never short, let me tell you. Lois quotes The General: "Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy." She suddenly realizes what an idiot thing it was that just came out of her mouth and has a moment of regret. "You can edit out that last part, right?" she asks. Wonk, wonk wonk... "Lois," Clark says, trying to smile for the camera.

Abrupt digital camera cut to static. There's a little white triangle on the left side of the screen that is meant to signify "Play," and it stays there the whole time. The next thing we see is the Kent Barn, converted into the Barnness of Huppahtude. Guests are waiting as Lois and Jimmy stand at the altar. Lois and Jimmy, in close-up, smile as the music starts and they see Clark and Chloe approaching. Everyone stands and claps as Clark leads Chloe down the precarious loft stairs. Clark is wearing an orange rose on his lapel. Chloe, her hair looking wavy and short, looks great in her bridal gown. We jump cut ahead to a female minister saying, "I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride." Jimmy lifts Chloe's veil and kisses her while she's smiling. Applause. They fall below the camera frame and we see that Jimmy has dipped Chloe as he continues kissing her. Smooth! Chloe beams.

Another abrupt cut. Lois speaks into a microphone. She asks everyone to help her welcome the newlyweds. Everyone cheers as Chloe and Jimmy walk together. Jimmy is also wearing the orange rose as well as a natty silver vest and tie under a traditional black tuxedo. Thank you for not going all dork-plaid on us, Jimmy. Another cut, this time to Jimmy and Chloe cutting the very cardboardy-looking wedding cake. The top layer actually looks like a wrapped roll of toilet paper. Something crashes loudly. Chloe looks up. "What was that?" she asks. Another crash. The lights flicker.

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Smallville

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