Smallville

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Omar G: B+ | Grade It Now!
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Chloeverfield

Kent Home. More catering. Cooks are preparing breads and chopping veggies. Clark sees Oliver in the living room. He warns him that if Lois sees him, she'll pin an apron on him and name him after a fairy-tale character. Prince Charming? Oliver is not amused. "Lex is alive," he says. Oh shits! Clark: hide! Oliver says he was tracking a wireless ghost router (ooh, let me sing my "Ghost router" song again!) bouncing e-mails to Tess Mercer. You were reading Tess Mercer's e-mails? Oliver, you cad! Oliver says that if they can get their hands on that router, it will tell them where those e-mails originated. Do routers store that kind of information? I didn't think they did. Clark says it's not like Lex to leave a trail. Maybe he wants you to find him. Oliver says Lex isn't leaving a trail. Every time he chases one of those routers, he goes and all the hardware is missing. Clark figures it out on his own: Oliver wants him to go get the router next time Lex sends an e-mail. Oliver says that based on a pattern, he thinks Lex is going to send one today and they can lock up "That monster" for good. Oliver sounds like a southern belle. We have to lock up that monster before he gives me the vapors! You animal! Clark says he can't do it today. Oliver can't believe it. He says Clark has given Lex "Like 100 second chances." And at least 20 happy endings. Clark thinks it can wait 24 hours. "Chloe can't," Clark says. Oliver says, "The wedding?" like it's a completely foreign concept that someone would want to be at their best friend's nuptials. You rich person, you. Oliver asks if this is just an excuse not to go after Lex. He thinks Chloe will understand. Clark reveals that he had Jarnelle take away Chloe's memories of his powers. How's that working out for you, Clark? Sounds like it's already biting you in the ass. Clark says that Chloe has suffered enough and he's not going to miss giving her away on her wedding day. "It's not an option," he says. Oliver tells him Lex is going to make a move soon and he's more dangerous now than he ever was. What are you basing that on? Ollie reminds Clark that Lex still knows his secret. The music of doom plays as Clark makes a plaintive face.

Commercials. Really digging that new Grand Theft Auto IV ad.

Oliver's "Queen" plane sits on a runway. Is Oliver homeless? Brother can't afford a decent hotel room if his own place is no longer safe? Oliver is staring at a photo of his parents. A newspaper nearby tells the story of his parents' death. Obsessive, much? There's an air whoosh. Clark comes in. Oliver, surprised, puts the photo away. Clark apologizes for taking so long. He says there were guards. Also, he needed a bathroom break. Clark's holding a big piece of computer equipment. Oliver says it's a good thing the infamous red-and-blue blur is faster than a speeding bullet. Yeah, we get it, Oliver. Save it for canon. "Let's see it," Oliver says. No, Clark, put that away. He meant the router. Clark notices the newspaper on the desk and a file. His smile fades. He asks if this is what his errand was about. Clark lectures Ollie about putting aside his vengeance. He doesn't believe Oliver's hate for Papa Luthor should be the reason for going after Lex. Clark sits. He says that when Bo Duke died, he almost crossed a line he couldn't have come back from. He says he won't let Oliver make the same mistake. The mistake you didn't make? Oliver says he's doing it for Clark. Clark thinks that's a half-truth. Ollie thinks Lex may even know how to kill Clark. Oliver asks Clark to give him the router. He says it'll take a few hours to download the information. A router? A few hours? Is the thing strapped to a couple of terabyte-sized hard drives or something? Oliver says Clark will have time to eat cake and do the chicken dance before they take off. Clark says he's going to keep the router until after the wedding. He's going to hide it in his pants. Clark says that if Oliver is really doing this for him, he'll wait until Clark can go with him. And then he'll reach into his pants. It's the Gayest Look of the Episode, at least in my mind. Clark leaves the cabin, then whooshes out. Oliver rubs his face. He bangs his fist on the desk. A man with a shaved head comes in from the other direction, pushing aside a curtain. He asks what all the fireworks were about. "Wi-Fi," the guy tells Oliver. He says he already downloaded the information while Oliver and Clark were talking. I thought it was going to take a couple of hours. "I downloaded the information while you two were having that lovers' spat," the dude says. Oliver is amused. Clark, a fuck buddy? Hmmm... intriguing. What kind of LuthorCorp secure router uses easy-to-hack Wi-Fi? Lex wants to be found.

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Smallville

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