Kent home. MamaKent and Bo are trying to convince Sheriff KittyMeow that Clark wouldn't hurt anyone deliberately. Marge is just really pissed about her cruiser, I think. Marge says that she ran Clark's name in the police computer and found that he's been at "more crime scenes than Eliot Ness." She's the Continuity Police! MamaKent says that Clark's just trying to help people. Marge thinks Clark may have a hero complex. Clark is anything but complex, lady. Marge says that heroes gotta play by the rules, too, and that she's charging Clark with misdemeanor battery. He'll have to give the town three AA Duracells if he wants to go free. She says it could be a $1,500 fine. Clark stands up and says that his family can't afford that. Bo tells Clark to sit down. That reminds me of when I was in high school overseas and I got into huge trouble for taking part in an underground newspaper. We met with the principal, and after having talked to the Student Press Law Center, I started to blab about our rights and how we were protected by parody law and my dad told me to just shut the hell up. Marge offers Clark community service in exchange for dropping the charges. She says that Clark can keep the world safe from roadside litter. Heh. Bo starts to argue with that instead of shutting up his own self. Marge says that their old sheriff (the much beloved Ethan, whom I still bitterly miss) might have looked the other way, but those "good old boy days are over." Ha! Dukes of Hazzard shout-out! Marge puts on her hat and lets herself out. "Nighty-night!" she calls over her shoulder. She's got a warm dish of milk waiting in her police cruiser. MamaKent and Bo have no response to any of this.
Smallville Medical Center. They're getting really fancy with that sign outside. The people who were doing the banners for the high school must have graduated and gone to DeVry's graphic design program. On a very tastefully decorated desk sits a really nice black-and-white photo of Lex Luthor in a frame. A prop person could totally eBay that for at least $200. Dr. Dropkick walks in, takes off her white coat, and shows off a skimpy little sleeveless shirt. I must admit, I sat up a little higher in my chair. Dropkick notices the pretty flowers on her desk and goes to smell them. She's about to read the card when the handsome stranger from The Talon creeps up right behind her. He was in the office the whole time and she didn't notice? "Metropolis Flower Show, 1999," he says, as Dropkick understandably creeps out a bit. He says she couldn't take her eyes off those flowers. "Paul?" she asks. He's Tall Paul. She says she thought that was him last night. He's very handsome in a dark-haired, soap-opera-leading-man kind of way. He's also wearing a yellow tie. He says that she looked tired last night, so he left her alone. Now he's gonna make up for that inattention. She asks what he's doing in town. He replies, "Uh, I'm here on business." Uh, I think he's lying. Unless he's talking about dirty, dirty business. He says he read that Dropkick was getting married. He picks up the picture frame, and we get a close-up of it. Even in a black and white photo, Lex totally outsexes this guy. Dropkick says he shouldn't believe everything he reads. She says that, right now, they're married to their work. Secret luh-vahs! Yeah. That's what they are. "At least that's what we tell each other," says Lex, who is suddenly standing at the doorway in a long black coat. Dropkick looks over, surprised, and smiles as she introduces Tall Paul to Lex as "an old friend." Lex comes over and does a shaking of the hands. He guesses that Dropkick and Tall Paul knew each other from Metropolis. Slowly, Paul says that they, well, uh, dated for a while. In med school. Where they have the cadavers. Tall Paul says that they realized they weren't going to live happily ever after -- at least not with each other. Ain't fate a bitch? Lex is clearly bored, but definitely Alpha Male here. Dropkick breaks the silence and says it was nice seeing Tall Paul, but that it's time for her and Lex to go to lunch. Lex stops her and says he only came by to tell her he couldn't make it. He stopped by to say that? He's totally testing her. Tall Paul asks if he can fill in, if it's okay with Lex. Lex smiles with his lips pulled down and gives the lunch date his rubber stamp. Dropkick's 1991 beeper goes off. Patient emergency. She says she'll have to take a rain check on lunch. She suggests that Tall Paul give Lex the hotel phone number and make arrangements for something later. She obviously doesn't know Lex's history if she'd give him such a clear through line like this. She kisses Lex chastely on the side of the mouth and exits her office. Tall Paul tells Lex it's the same old Dropkick. Now she's here, now she's gone. "Hang on to her, Lex," he says. "If you can."