Episode Report Card
Omar G: B | Grade It Now!
Men Suck

Clark's Barnness of Epilogueitude. Lana greets him. She's still got her purple shirt on. Clark says he just got a call saying Fratty Oldman dropped his lawsuit. Clark's fiddling with his telescope. Clark asks if Lana knows anything about that. Lana says maybe Fratty realized that Clark was just trying to help a friend. Clark says that the sheriff told him Lana has quite a spin kick. So is Clark now dating the sheriff? Do they talk on the phone about death like Harold and Maude? Clark says he's sorry he missed the kick. Before Lana can overanalyze the situation, Clark simply thanks Lana. He even gives her a little half thumbs-up. Lana says that Clark's been there for her so many times. She wanted to repay Clark. I bet he'd rather have that in nookie. Lana says it's not every day Lana Lang gets to save Clark Kent. Smiles all around. I am so very glad we're not ending on that scene.

Instead, we're at Lex's house. A slow, excruitiatingly acoustic version of "Don't Fear the Reaper" is playing. Dr. Dropkick is sitting by a fire, reading. Lex comes in. Dropkick says she thought he had a board meeting. Lex cancelled it for personal reasons. "That's a first," she says. Lex, in a nice, dark collarless top, comes around and sits next to Dropkick. He says that Tall Paul is pleading insanity. Dropkick starts to say something, but he stops her to reveal that he's not fighting the plea. "Paul needs help," he says. Lex says he wanted to kill the guy for what he did to Dropkick. Lex says he probably could have gotten away with it in everyone's eyes. He says that one person would have known the truth. "Clark?" she asks. Oh, I see. It's an open relationship, huh? "You," Lex says. You expect him to add, "Hey, I'm not gay!" here. Lex says that Clark didn't save him in that moment. Dropkick did. Lex says that's when he knew. He pulls something out of his pocket. She opens it. Engagement ring! A nice big, one too. "Will you marry me?" Lex asks. Swoon! Dropkick is teary-eyed. She leans forward and kisses Lex. The music comes up a bit and we pull back on the huge room. Getting engaged is cool. Way to go, Lex.

The WB wants to sell you a Red Hot Chili Peppers CD. That's fine by me.

Next week: Flame-butt!

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