Smallville
Precipice

Episode Report Card
Omar G: B | Grade It Now!
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Men Suck

Cool Red Hot Chili Peppers song plays. It's been a while since I've been truly annoyed by the music on this show. Yay, show! Sleazy-looking motel. Tall Paul pulls up in his town car. Someone in an SUV is parked behind him, watching. The parked heavy calls Lex to inform his boss of the stalker's whereabouts. Inside, as the music continues, Tall Paul stands in front of a mirror wearing, appropriately, a wife-beater. "You know I love you, [Dropkick]," he says to the mirror. He also says he'd do anything to be with the mirror. He leans his head back then rams it forward into the mirror. He cracks the mirror and leaves a huge bloodstain on it. He leans back and we see blood all over his face. He smiles. Crazy!

Hospital. Dropkick and a nurse come in on Tall Paul in a curtained area. His face looks ass-kicked. "Lex," he says, explaining his wounds. "Lex did this to me." Yes, but have you seen Clark's anus?

Commercials, because that last joke needs a few minutes' break to settle in.

Back at the hospital, Lex is looking in as Tall Paul (who is now horizontally tall. Er, long. Er, whatever) is being questioned by Sheriff Puddytat. The lack of privacy in this hospital continues to astonish me. "Lex. We need to talk," Dropkick says in her most brusque manner. She takes Lex to her office. She tells Lex that Tall Paul is claiming that one of Lex's thugs beat him up. Lex thinks maybe Dropkick believes him. Dropkick says that Lex has been ignoring her for two weeks (really? How were we to know that?) and now all of a sudden he's jealous. Lex says he isn't jealous. He's concerned. He says that the guy is unhinged if he did that to himself. Lex says she's being stalked. Dropkick says that she and Tall Paul were never even that serious. She says in a nice way that she was just in it for the sex. This is exactly what Lex wants to hear. He asks who broke it off. She did. She says that one of Paul's ex-girlfriends warned her that she'd been beaten up by him. Lex asks if the woman ever reported it to the police. Dropkick says no, but that she wasn't going to wait to see if it happened again. She didn't ask the guy if it was true? She says three months after they broke up, Paul dropped out of school. Marge Gunderson walks in without knocking and says she was looking for Lex.

Hallway at the hospital. Lex says he didn't have the guy beat up. Marge is ticked that she didn't get to ask the question first. Lex's alibi for his own whereabouts is that he was at home. She brings up the encounter in the parking lot and says that offering flowers and a ride home isn't criminal behavior. Boy, she really doesn't watch the Lifetime Network. Lex is annoyed with Marge and hopes her professional instincts lead her in the right direction. I dunno. Those instincts must compete with feline proclivities. Marge warns that she'll stay in touch. A bloody, bruised Paul is wheeled down the hallway. He gives Lex a half smile.

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Smallville

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