Episode Report Card
Omar G: B | Grade It Now!
Men Suck

Outside The Talon, Clark is indeed in the orange vest, picking up trash. The marquee sign says something about "so fresh you'll want to slap it." Huh? Lex comes out with two cups of coffee. Before Lex can even say anything, Clark warns him not to start. He's already been getting teased by fellow students. Lex offers Clark the coffee and asks if that's violating parole. Mmm, prison sex. Clark tells Lex about the pending lawsuit and how the frat guy could "literally take the farm." For once, Lex doesn't offer up his team of lawyers. Clark complains that someone can just come into your life out of the blue and muck things up. Yeah, you never really learn that lesson until about the fortieth time it happens to you. Lex tells Clark not to worry about Lana: "Let's just say the crouching tigress is about to find her hidden dragon." I hope those residual checks are mighty huge for reading lines like that.

Lair of Lex. Lana, in her skimpy workout clothes, is trying to punch a big boxing bag that Lex is humping from behind. Lana complains that she can't even get the bag to move. Lex has a little nose and upper lip sweat going. Lex says it's not about size. It's about decisiveness and speed. He's already convinced Clark of this. Lex is wearing gloves with the fingers cut off. You go, Judd Nelson. He comes around and puts his hands under Lana's elbows and tells her she has to put her whole body into it. Lana punches. Lex tells her to channel all her anger. Lana says she's not as angry as Lex is. "Of course not," Lex says, doing a little comedic take. Lex taunts Lana, using the frat boys as bait. He brings up the shoving. He brings up how Clark is always saving her. Lana's punches get stronger and stronger. She punches, punches, and kicks. I want her to do the down/back, down, down/forward circle for the fireball move. She concludes with a kick. Lex is pleased. The loud techno music playing over the scene ends. It's not exactly Matrix Reloaded, is it?

More trash duty. Clark picks up a tiny bag of Lay's potato chips with his stick-spear. He notices Elderly Frat Guy coming out of a store across the street. He's in a neck brace and using a cane. Clark, against all of our better judgment, goes over for a word. Fratty Oldman warns Clark that he's not supposed to come within five hundred feet. "Danica's Hair Shop" is one of the stores on the block. Clark gets in front of Fratty and says they both made mistakes. Clark says that the lawsuit could ruin his family. He asks Fratty to leave them out of it. An SUV pulls up across the street and honks. "I'll see you in court," Fratty says through gritted teeth and slit eyes. He tells Clark that if he violates the restraining order again, he'll have the sheriff all over his ass. Emphasis on "ass." Fratty gets into the SUV. He and his buddies are all giggles. Clark uses his x-ray vision and sees Fratty take off the brace in the car and drink a Cold One.

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