Episode Report Card
Omar G: B | Grade It Now!
Men Suck

The Barnness of Tortitude. Clark is looking at some neck x-rays, doing his requisite scientific research for whatever problem is going on that week. Chloe comes in. She takes off her overshirt and is wearing more beads than a "Bedazzler" infomercial on her undershirt. Clark says that Fratty's faking. Chloe says that, as a defendant, Clark's claim won't hold much water. Clark says he saw the guy take his neck brace off. Chloe says she'll help. Or, she suggests, they can send Lana to beat the guy up. Clark is uncomfortable. Chloe says it's just a joke. She says Clark doesn't seem impressed that Lana is turning all Charlie's Angel on them. Clark is worried Lana will get overconfident. Chloe says that Clark, as a guy, has no idea what it's like to cross the street at night with footsteps behind you when you're a woman. Chloe says that if getting a little "girl power" makes Lana feel like less of a victim, Clark should be in favor of it. You go, Chloe! Clark supposes that's true. Chloe guesses that if Lana learns to defend herself, she might not need Clark anymore. True dat, too.

Speaking of walking at night in the dark, Dropkick is walking down a very dark hospital hallway in enormous heels. Does Dr. Scholl know about this? Dropkick walks into a pathology lab and tries to turn on a light. Nothing comes on. "Doctor?" she calls. No answer. Tall Paul, however, is more than happy to answer. He suddenly appears right behind her. He's a creepy man! "I had to see you alone," he says. Dropkick invites him to talk with her over coffee. "No, we can't go and have coffee, THANK YOU VERY MUCH!" he yells. Creep! He goes on a rant about why Dropkick broke up with him. It's punctuated with some domestic violence yelling. Ike Turner, no! He says he was trying to be successful to woo her back. Then he found out she was dating Lex. He says he wanted to save her. Dropkick says she doesn't want that. She says she broke up with Tall Paul because of the ex-girlfriend. "Oh, oh oh, nonononononono, she was so beneath me," he says. This is way scarier than any Kryptonite freak. Paul says he and Dropkick were meant for each other. He runs a thumb on her lips. Dropkick says she loves Lex. Paul says she doesn't; she loves Tall Paul, she just doesn't know it yet. He moves to kiss her. She breaks free and runs. He blocks the door, very The Continental-style.

Dropkick's cell phone rings. She answers. It's Lex. He's driving very fast. He admits that he's been distant the last few weeks. He promises to change and says he's on his way over to talk. She says she's busy with a patient in the pathology lab. Paul slaps the phone right off of her face. Lex hears it and asks what's going on. Paul yells at her about Lex. To borrow a Hank Stuever quote from The Washington Post, the women on this show, like those on 24, are in serious need of a Take Back the Night march. Dropkick smashes a big glass against Paul's already wounded head. Lex asks what's going on. Paul grabs Dropkick and throws her against a table of test tubes and equipment. Ouch. Why didn't she dropkick him? Lex drives faster. Paul carries Dropkick, grabs a scalpel, and runs her over another table. More Lex speed-driving. The scene stops. We see shards of glass on the floor, stuff strewn everywhere. Lex is running down the hallway, two hospital staffers behind him. He stops and sees a trail of bloody steps. He crashes inside the lab. He sees Dropkick on the floor. She's bloody and unconscious. The doctor with Lex calls for some blood. Lex tries to wake Dropkick up, but she's not responding. Lemme tell you something. This scene was completely unexpected. I thought she was a goner and I jumped out of my chair. Sure, they maybe screwed it up later, but at this exact moment, the show had me riveted. Nice work, folks.

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