Smallville

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Doomy, Baby

As-Is Foundation. Clark shows up. Chloe, dressed up, says Clark missed the soda and cookies, but maybe next time he can give the group a "rousing Kent tale." Those stories usually end with a cow getting slaughtered. Clark says, pissily, that sitting with a group of strangers singing "Kumbaya" isn't his idea of self-help. Hey, thanks for that! The "Dick Exit" is that way. Don't let it hit your jerk ass on the way out. Chloe's smile fades. She asks what's up with the "'tude." Clark says there was an attack at the Ace of Clubs. He calls it "special." Can't you think of a better word for that? He spots Chloe's clipboard with its mutant support group sign-up sheet. He goes to it. Chloe is annoyed Clark thinks the attacker must be someone from her group. Clark says the police don't keep a list of "Krypto-perps." Chloe takes back the clipboard. She's not about pointing random fingers. Clark says the stats show that it's likely one of them did it. The data is from the National Association of Information That Just Came Out of My Butt. Chloe can't believe Clark would throw someone in a lineup just because they're different. Clark is mad at himself for letting the person responsible go. He thinks that if the perp strikes again, it'll be his fault. Chloe says she's learned to navigate Clark's "field of guilt landmines," but that these kids trust her and she's not going to give them up. They're at an impasse.

Metropolis General. Davis is in the shower, very naked, washing blood off his body. Hey, nice torso! He feels around his very muscular body for wounds, but there are none. He gulps, looking worried. The shower room is cold blue and black. Davis, horrified, doubles over. He sits on the shower floor, bare-ass naked. We see a bright yellow towel in the foreground. Spooky!

Commercials. Hershey's still makes chocolate in bar form, in case you were wondering.

Metropolis General, the next day. Davis is walking around wearing regular paramedic work clothes as opposed to cowering naked in the shower. I'm not sure it's a better look. Scary music follows him as he goes behind a medical curtain, making sure nobody notices. Aren't there any security cameras in this place, or would that be a violation of patient privacy? Davis pulls up his sleeves, ties his arm and draws blood. Action music tries to make the most of the scene. He's just drawing blood, guys. It's not a car chase. Davis hurries up when he sees shadows caused by people walking right outside the curtain. The curtain parts slightly. Davis slips out one end just as someone else is coming in from the other side. Davis walks past Jimmy, who goes up to a nurse and asks where he can find Davis. The nurse points Davis out for him, and Jimmy introduces himself. "As in Chloe's Jimmy," Davis guesses. He asks if there's something wrong with Chloe. Jimmy says that he's been going through her PDA to see who she's been hanging out with. Ha! It's just a joke! Jimmy says he's not a psycho, really. He just likes to make the worst first impression possible so he can work his way up from there. Davis says you really can't tell these days. Indeed. Jimmy says he's actually looking for a scoop on the club massacre. Got one? He says witnesses say it was some monster with bony eyelids. Davis, who appears to be wearing some Adam Ant-era eye makeup, is not amused. Davis says he gave his statement to the police and doesn't know anything else. Jimmy follows. He wants to ride along in the ambulance. Without approval from the hospital or the city. Nice. Davis warns Jimmy that he doesn't want to ride shotgun on his watch. Bad things happen! Can't you see that? Davis sighs. He explains that being first on the scene sucks. He says it's not something you want to see by choice. Unless you're dumb, like Jimmy. Jimmy asks if he can do a favor for a "bro." By that do you mean, "for a total douchebag who uses the word 'bro?' " In that case, sure, why not? Jimmy plays the romance card. He asks if Davis will do it for Chloe. Ouch. That's low, bro. Davis scoffs. He tells Jimmy to meet him downstairs at eight. Make sure your affairs are in order. Do you have life insurance? You should probably get some life insurance. Do you like burial or cremation? Just asking. No reason. Hey, what do you taste like, by the way? Salty? Sweet? Just trying to figure out a good wine to bring. No reason! Just asking! Nothing to worry about. See you at 8!

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Smallville

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