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Omar G: B+ | Grade It Now!
Brotherly Lust

Our blond card sharp keeps running and makes it outside to a fire escape, where it's raining. He leaps onto the street level and finds a motorcycle. Down the alley he goes as they start to fire their guns. Everybody ducks. White boy goes down, his motorcycle sliding. More gunshots. As the white boy tries to crawl away, we hear a screech of tires. An even sexier bald man kneels down in the rain. "Come on!" he yells, and pulls the boy up. "Who the hell are you?" the white boy asks. "Lucas," Lex Luthor says, taking a dramatic pause over the door of his town car. "I'm your brother." Lex and Lucas Luthor scramble into the car as the gangsters run over. The car speeds away and rounds the corner. Man, what are the odds Lex was here to rescue him? No matter. I'm in love with Smallville's version of Chintatown.

Opening credits. A Radio Shack commercial with Howie Long and no shriveled-up Teri Hatcher? Pinch me, because I must be dreaming.

American flag. The Talon. We turn our view down toward the marquee, but a tree obscures it. I think it reads, "Cappuccino and Unnecessary Drama, 2 for 1!" Lana is putting tables on the floor from where they were resting on tabletops. Clark walks in. He says it's awfully peaceful that early in the morning. Lana says she never figured him to be a coffee junkie, but she's got some brewing if he wants a cup. Instead, he holds up a placard. It's a Talon "Help Wanted" sign. Lana is taken aback. "...Here?" she asks. Clark says that if he's gonna work, why not do it where his friends are hanging out? Too bad none of them is here. Maybe you should work out of the barn or Lex's office. That's where all the action seems to be. Lana tells Clark not to take this the wrong way, but Clark doesn't have the best track record keeping appointments. There's a right way to take that? Clark looks sad. Lana suggests that Clark talk to Hank at the hardware store. "Ouch!" Clark says. See, it's poignant because he can't usually feel physical pain! But, screw this. I'm not making their point for them. Lana admits that was kind of harsh. Clark looks over and notices that the rose he gave Lana is in the trash. So this is the next morning after the last episode? He asked for a job from her the morning after they just had an emotional throw-down? Lana notices Clark's sad look. She offers to put him in the running with the other candidates. Gee, thanks, Lana. Lana holds up a job application. More embarrassed Clark.

Papa Luthor in his silvery Metropolis office. He's talking on the phone about how he doesn't want to move an important meeting to accommodate a board member's fetish for antique clocks. Hee. Papa Luthor demands that the clock-glockin' fool come back from Prague, now. "Hello, Dad," we hear as Lex enters with his new brutha Lucas. Lucas is wearing a leather jacket and a white shirt. Because he's a rebel, see? Lex says he thought Papa Luthor might want to meet his youngest heir. "Lucas, this is your father," Lex says. "Mr. Luthor," says Lucas. Papa Luthor puts his arm on the boy's neck and embraces him closely. Lex gulps in sadness. Aw, poor you, Lex. "Son," Papa Luthor whispers. Lucas says that he is, at least biologically speaking. Papa Luthor smiles painfully. Lucas goes over to a sword on a stand and says they both have a passion for Asian weaponry. He says that, based on the placement of the dragon (on the handle, I'm assuming), it must have been worn on the right hip. Yeah, that's why you'd see Samurais with bleeding right hips all the time, dragging their bloody shredded legs around to battle. He pulls the sword from the scabbard and notes that it's a fake. Papa Luthor chuckles. He says that's a keen observation. Lex says it's especially keen from someone Papa Luthor said was dead. Papa Luthor pours himself a glass of water in a normal way, which becomes important later in the episode. Lex says he was surprised to learn that his brother was alive and well in Edge City. Lex says Papa Luthor knew Lucas was alive the whole time. Papa Luthor tells Lucas to go to the executive dining room, where the chef can make him anything he wants to eat. Lucas exits and playfully tells them not to talk behind his back. Tell you one thing about Lucas. He is too cool for school. Lex smiles. "So the prodigal son returns," he says. I would be happy if I never had to hear that cliché ever again. Papa Luthor invokes the gospel in how Lex has welcomed Lucas with open arms. He asks what Lex stands to gain from this. Papa Luthor notes that Lucas just turned eighteen and is now entitled to an inheritance. Papa's living trust sets it up so any living heir gets 10% of Papa's LuthorCorp shares. "It's the vital 10% you need to vote me out of power," Papa Luthor says. Then he chuckles. He asks if that's why half his board isn't returning his calls. "Oh my word," Papa Luthor laughs, "you're staging a coup." Should Lex have shown his hand so quickly? Papa Luthor warns Lex that the Good Book has plenty of parables that he should heed. Uh. Huh. Papa Luthor uses a little hand-held device to have his secretary patch in his next call.

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