Smallville

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Tippi Blevins: D | Grade It Now!
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Freaky Friday

Caves. Oliver finds the Bow of Orion hanging in the middle of a room. Angelic music plays. The bow glows. The runes etched along its length suddenly turn into English. "The only true power comes from within," Oliver reads aloud. You went all that way and solved all those puzzles for a fortune cookie. Congrats. As he reaches out to grab the bow, it suddenly flies across the room. Granny Goodness appears out of the shadows to catch it. "How deliciously selfish of you to want the bow just so you can remove the stain we put on your soul," she says. The bow dissolves into embers in her hand as Oliver lets out a shout of protest. She thanks Oliver. "You see, those traps were designed to keep the prophets out," she says, gesturing to herself. And yet, the puzzles required people of both the light and the dark. Huh. Granny exposits that the bow was the one thing Darkseid couldn't defeat. Oliver charges toward her, all het up to to do a little defeating of his own, but she knocks him to the floor with a wave of her hand. "From the moment you were marked, you've been serving him," she says. Entirely off-screen, apparently, because he's seemed mostly like his normal self this whole time. Granny coos about Oliver's potential, says he won't remember anything and then makes his Omega glow.

Marionette Ventures. The evil real estate moguls gather around a table. Some of them we've seen before, like Vordigan and Roulette, although their faces are hidden in shadows so they wouldn't have to hire back the same actors. Toyman video conferences in as the baddies look over their mission folders. Each of them has been assigned to a specific hero. Toyman waxes ridiculous about their evil water supply plan. It's so over-the-top, so awful, that calling it cartoony would be an insult to cartoons. Toyman tells them that their "newest associate" is on her way to kill the Blur. "We... are going... to have... so... much... fun!" Toyman adds a maniacal cackle just in case you weren't completely convinced of his buffoonish evil. [I dunno, it seems like killing Clark would be the most fun, for all of us, and Evil Lois gets to do that. - Zach]

Watchtower. Tess and Clark are making plans to head to the jail when Lois whooshes into the room. Clark takes one look at her, sees the blinking light on her new star doohickey and says, "Toyman put a diode on her neck!" No, your nitwit fiancée did that to herself. Clark asks Tess how long till sunset, but before she can answer Lois throws Clark through a giant monitor. "You need to stall her," Tess tells him. "The sun's almost down!" Lois advances on Clark, grabs him by the throat. He tells her to fight Toyman's control. "Hold on Clark, just a little bit longer," Tess says from the sidelines. Super helpful there, Tess. Lois struggles a bit. She's taking an awfully long time to choke him. "I love you," Clark gasps. That reaches Lois for just a moment and she lets him go. Her doohickey zaps her. She advances on Clark again... very, very slowly. "Clark, not yet," Tess says. "You don't have your powers back." Yeah, you'd think he'd notice that on his own, but thanks for stating the super obvious. Lois makes like she's going to punch Clark just as the sun finally sets. He stops her fist. She struggles against him. He plucks the doohickey from her neck and she collapses in his arms.

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Smallville

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