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It's the sixth penultimate episode of Smallville! Can I get a "Woot!?" No? Not really? How about a smile, then? No? You're really mad at how this season has turned out? I see. What if I tickle you? Tickle tickle! Who's a recap reader? Tickle! Oh. You think that's a form of abuse? Sorry. Well, look. You probably won't like this episode. I'll be frank: I was thinking about a million other things while I watched it, and about 900,000 of them were more interesting. And I have a crap imagination. But if you and I work together and put this whole tickling incident behind us, I think we can get through it. Because after this, it's one more episode and then SUMMER! Water slides! Sunburn! Hurricanes! Can't wait, y'all. It's gonna be the most season-six-is-done summer ever! Who's with me!?

We open on planet Earth. Hey, I can see Lois's boobs from here! A big computer-animated satellite glides into view, making sound where there is none. A "LUTHORCORP" logo is on its side. I watched it for a little while. I like to watch things on TV. We see a red light flash near a lens on the satellite. The lens is scanning part of North America. It zooms in on a military-looking building.

We cut from space to the same image of a schematic on a screen, presumably inside that same building. An older gent, Mr. Science, is typing on a computer. You can tell he's a scientist because of the spiffy white coat with the pens in the pocket. A siren suddenly goes off along with a flashing red light. Mr. Science moves his mouse on the computer to zoom in on a blinking room in a schematic. He squints. "Activity" is moving from one room to the next.

We cut to a hallway where soldiers are scrambling. Lex, wearing black, walks among them. He checks his watch. Lex's favorite lackey, Number One, tells soldiers to sweep the perimeter. And mop it, too! Lex asks for a status report. There's been a security breach in the northeast sector. But that's where we keep the Trix-brand cereal! That goddamned cartoon rabbit! Lex asks what security has picked up. "Not a damn thing," says Number One. Fucking invisible cartoon rabbit! Lex tells a guard standing nearby to kill anything that comes down the hallway. That's right. We're eating hare pie tonight! Wait. That didn't sound good at all. Lex and Number one enter the lab-looking room where Mr. Science is sitting. "Contact?" Lex asks. Sure, you can touch me. Mr. Science says, "Tunnel 7." We hear soldiers yelling stuff from outside the room. Mr. Science says to wait. The computer says in a robotic voice that Section F has been compromised. Lex commands a lockdown.

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