Commercials. Is Dennis Haysbert personally protecting your vehicle from an insurance disaster? If not, you'd better get Allstate. Or Dennis Haysbert will come and kick you in the uninsured ass and you will thank him for the privilege.
Poll: What does the carving on Lex's chest mean?
a) "May contain nuts below"
b) "Contents under extreme pressure"
c) "Used to be good, but is past expiration date"
d) "Gone after next week"
e) "This scar will only make him sexier"
Lex is lying on a hospital bed with his giant chest wound completely exposed. Er, doctor? I don't want to tell you how to do your job, but could a billionaire please get a fucking Band-Aid at least? Some antibacterial ointment maybe? Are you trying to grow bacteria samples on Lex's chest or something? Good thing Lex has no chest hair, though, because that might have made for an even messier chest carving. Lex wakes as the camera pulls back to reveal the darkened hospital room. He winces. "Sir, don't try to get up," Lex's Right-Hand-Man, Johnny the Major Domo, says. Yeah, thanks for the advice, Jeeves. I feel like a goddamned Jack-O-Lantern. Johnny says he's taken care of everything. Well, did you kill that guy who just played Spirograph all over my tummy? Because if not, then I don't think you took care of Jack or his shit. Lex says that things clearly weren't taken care of earlier this evening. It's your awful security team, Lex. I think the hiring buck stops with you. Johnny blinks a long time, hurt by the accusation. Lexd asks what the police know. Basic criminal justice, I would imagine. Johnny says that they're not cooperating with the police. Instead, they have a private team chasing Lex's assailant, but they don't have many leads. I guess the security cameras and the fact that the guy came right into Lex's home doesn't really give you much to work with. Lex groans that it was the manager from the bank in Zurich. He really hates it when people don't fill out the withdrawal slip. Lex says the guy must have been waiting for him at the bank. He says he must not be the only one interested in what was contained in the safety deposit box. Lex grunts again as he tries to get up. "Sir!" Johnny says, not helping him up. Lex gets to his feet. "He was trying to kill me," Lex says. Nah. He had you on the floor at knife-point. If he wanted to kill you, he would have done it. "He was trying to do more than that," Johnny says. He glances down at Lex's midsection. Saaaaay, nice torso! Lex suddenly notices his ghastly injuries. He pulls out a license plate-sized mirror and examines himself. It's the symbol for "My contract is expiring and I won't be back." "Symbols," Lex whispers wearily, "he knows." Lex, all sweaty, says that Zurich Dude is after the cryptograph. The Strings of Doom play us out of the scene.