Commercials. I'll be sad the day they stop making funky, booty-shaking iPod ads.
The cathedral. Teague says that Clark must know what it's like to be worshipped. Yeah, dude, in high school, there was this rich bald guy who would just not quit! Clark says he didn't ask for this. He says Veritas put him on a pedestal. Now they're all dead. Teague says that Papa Luthor wanted Clark all to himself and killed everybody else. He says he went into hiding after his wife and son were killed. Clark frowns. "They all died because of me," he says. Teague tries to reassure Clark that they died for him. "They didn't even know me!" Clark says. Swann knew you and I'm pretty sure Jason Teague did, too. Teague says they were happy to die on Clark's behalf (you sure about that?) and that they believed Clark was the world's savior. He says they took an oath to protect Clark. They took it to Chili's and had some margaritas, but that's another story. Clark asks if that's why they attacked Lex. Teague says Lex is a non-believer and that he's harmful. Teague thought Lex was too close when he reached the bank in Zurich. Clark asks what it is that Lex was so close to finding. Teague says he doesn't know. "Swann kept that secret to himself," he says. As he walks away from Clark, back down the aisle, he says that Swann scattered clues around the world so they wouldn't get into the wrong hands. One of the clues is in the church. He's not sure where, though. Clark asks why they would carve Clark's name into Lex's chest. Teague says that Papa Luthor kept Clark's identity a secret. He was hoping Clark would see it and come find him. "I had to," he says. You HAD to carve some symbols into Lex's chest? Really, now? He says Clark has to believe how evil Lex has become. "I know who Lex is," Clark says, forcefully. I have seen him nude. I have bathed with him. I KNOW! Clark says he knows what Lex has done. Teague asks why Clark didn't take care of him before. Like take care of him? Deadly style? Clark doesn't have a good answer for that. Teague says they've sacrificed everything, including the lives of their families. "You don't want to fulfill your destiny. You don't even want to save yourself!" he says angrily. He opens the top of his cane to reveal a pimpin' green jewel. It glows brightly and makes Clark fall down. Clark lies on his back, in pain. Teague says that Clark can't be so naïve. He gives a speech about lightness and darkness in the universe while Clark is like, "OK, OK, dude! I! Just! This hurts! Jerk!" Teague says they have to fight the darkness. "Lex cannot be allowed to control you. No one can!" Teague shouts, "No matter the cost." Clark falls asleep. That was a good bedtime story.