Smallville
Smallville

Episode Report Card
Omar G: C | 567 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Smack Talk

Clock tower, daytime. Oliver is lying down, shirtless. He's on a weight machine doing bench presses with no spotter. We hear a farmboy say, "You're looking awfully healthy." Oh yeah. Bonk-shuka-bonk-bonk...it's gay porn time. "You're my meat, my possession!" (SMACK!) "D'ooooohhhh!" Clark is standing there, watching. "It's called exercise, Clark," Oliver says as he finishes his rep and gets up. Clark thinks that it's called HOT! It's the Gayest Look of the Episode. The only thing that would make it gayer is if Clark was wearing a pizza deliveryboy outfit. Oliver whines that mere humans have to exercise to stay in shape. Well, to be fair, this Kryptonian isn't always in tip-top form. Clark mentions the Daily Planet article about the Green Arrow being shot. Oliver slips on a muscle shirt. He says that if he'd been shot, he'd be in the hospital or at the morgue. He says that Clark of all people shouldn't believe everything he reads in the paper. Clark says it's the Planet, not the Inquisitor and that there was a witness. Oliver says that maybe it was someone else with a preference for green. A very tall leprechaun? A very skinny Hulk? Clark looks over and sees Green Arrow's leather vest lying on an office chair. It's sporting a hole and blood stain. Clark asks what Oliver's Green Arrow gear is doing out in the middle of the room. Accenting the space? "I'm uploading video," Oliver says, "check this out." He pushes a button on a remote. On a nearby screen, Clark appears. Oliver is holding a tiny video camera embedded in his sunglasses. He says that he can get footage of scumbags so he can track them down later. Fun! This stuff will be great on YouTube. Clark says that Oliver is getting sloppy with the gear in the middle of the room and the door unlocked. He says it could have been Lois at the door. Doesn't Oliver have a receptionist? He says that he's had a lot on his mind lately and that Clark's been too busy doing farm chores to notice the crime wave in Metropolis. "Let me ask you something," says Oliver, before making me happy with his next line: "are you ever gonna get off your ass and finally do something for a change?" Ha ha! YES! I've been saying that for six seasons, dude. You should be a recapper, Oliver. Clark says he didn't come here to be insulted. He came here for a good blowjob, but he guesses that's just not going to happen now, is it!? Oliver points out the door and says he doesn't remember Clark being invited.

Smallville

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