Episode Report Card
Omar G: C- | 2 USERS: B-
Smack Talk

Lois walks right in, not bothering to knock, and heads right for the fridge, which is very, very small. Is this a new fridge? I don't remember it being quite so tiny. She tells MamaKent and Clark that they can take Oliver off the guest list for Thanksgiving. Or any other guest list. She glances in the fridge, but doesn't find anything she wants. MamaKent asks what happened. Lois tells them that the night before, he pulled another one of his "patented disappearing acts" in the middle of a date. She neglects to tell them she was wearing high heels and no underwear when it happened. MamaKent says that she's sorry. Lois says that Oliver's a billionaire and she's a "nail-biting, Talon-dwelling tabloid reporter." She takes groceries out of a bag and puts them on the kitchen island counter. Clark says that he knows she'll find someone better suited for her. Like a deaf robot. Lois says life goes on, at least for some people. Is that a dig on Raya? Or Bo Duke? Or any other dead person?

Lois asks if Clark heard the news: the Green Arrow was shot. She says it's in today's Planet. She hands Clark a copy of the paper. It's got the creepy sketch of The UnaOliver with the headline: "GREEN ARROW: DEAD OR ALIVE?" Yes, with all-caps. The Daily Planet's style guide is all over the place. Lois says that a man ran to get the police when he saw Green Arrow bleeding on the ground, but when they came back, there was only a bloodstain. Couldn't they get a sample? Close-up on the newspaper. The music booms for emphasis. Then a speeding car rushes by in the sound mix. Guys, we get it. You don't need to juice the mix so much, all right?

Lair of Lex. Lex, sitting by the fire, is playing chess. He's playing black, of course. Lana, wearing all black, enters the room. She's holding a black brochure. BLACK, PEOPLE! Lana says she's found a charitable organization that she wants to focus on. It's the "Second-Chance Halfway House." Do they really still call them "Halfway houses?" So Lana's not interested in pet rescue? Color me surprised. Lana says that she has the time. She also heard Lex mention it on the phone and then she found this brochure. It's almost like connected items planted in a script! Lex isn't very enthused. Lana says that it's an amazing program and she can't see why it's not in every city in the country. Lex says that Lana would be in direct contact with violent criminals just released from prison. Lana replies that may happen from time to time, but mostly she'd be working at the central office. Lex asks why she doesn't channel her energies into the youth foundation or the center for victim's rights. Lord knows she's both a youth and a victim. What about Save the Squirrels? My God, won't somebody think of the squirrels!? Lana says it's what she wants to do. Lex goes right for the Scotch, which one has to do with regularity if you're going to live with Lana. He pours himself a drink and says that he's just trying to protect her. "What is it with people feeling like they have to protect me?" Lana asks. Jeez, I don't know. Maybe it's that you're laid out in the hospital almost every week and that you got possessed by a French witch at one point. Could that be it? Lana says she doesn't need to be watched over. She, Lois, and Clark should start a club for people who have no self-awareness whatsoever. They'd take turns forgetting who's supposed to be president. Lex lies and says that he didn't say she did need protecting; he just wants her to be safe. "Well, this isn't about what you want," Lana says, "this is about what I want." This is where Lex should say, "Well, that is a shame because I want your bony ass out of my castle RIGHT NOW! Squirrel-face." Instead, Lex takes the coward's road and just says flatly, "Pick any other project. I'm sorry." Lana tries to remember her line, but gives up and walks out through the open door. Lex, frustrated, puts down his drink. She's gone, so he doesn't have to make himself drunk just to have a conversation anymore.

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