Episode Report Card
Omar G: C+ | Grade It Now!
Ash Tuesday

Whitest basketball court ever. Clark walks up as Jocko is shooting a hoop or two. Clark tries to be friendly and asks if Jocko saw that K-State game last week. Jocko asks what Clark is doing there. He asks if Lana sent Clark. Clark says he knew Jocko would see right through Lana's deadly game of cat and mouse. Jocko says he's not mad. He speaks of himself in third person as being the heartless son who hasn't visited his dying father in the hospital. Creepy. Jocko, red-nosed, says he remembers his dad saying he wanted to be there when he threw his first pass for the Metropolis Sharks. Clark, dumbly, says it could still happen. Jocko ignores him and say his dad was the strongest man he ever saw. Jocko says that when he sees his dad in the hospital, it kills him because that's not his father. That's a weak little man. He tells Clark that he'll have his dad supporting him for years to come and all Jocko will have is a memory of his dad. He doesn't want that memory to be a sick man in a hospital bed. Selfish, much? "I'd take the man over the memory any day of the week," Clark says, walking off. That didn't disagree much, did it?

Chloe runs up to Clark as he's walking off the court. She found something in the Daily Planet. It's a Metropolis coroner who was turned to ash. They make the connection between that and the recently ashed Mrs. Sykes. Chloe says it would be nice to check out that house. She's smiling big again. Clark nods.

Somehow they got into a crime scene. Chloe flashes pictures of the Hiroshima-like flash outline on the bed. Clark looks a little freaked out. Clark says it's a crime scene. "So?" Chloe asks. She must be getting along nicely with that cute cop she was going to ask to the prom. Clark notices there's no barking. "I wasn't planning on it," Chloe says. Awww. I wanted to hear her bark and then I wanted to hear a Clark bark. "Pepper!" Clark suddenly says. Yeah, Pepper! Don't leave me hanging about the pooch! Clark calls out for Pepper. Chloe surmises that an animal shelter came and got her. Clark uses his X-ray vision and finds some ashes and a "Pepper" dog tag behind a curtain. "Yuck," says Chloe. Word. Clark notices something else, too. A white rose by the bed. Clark says that he has a feeling that what happened was combustion, but it wasn't spontaneous. Poor Clark, having to read such bad lines this week.

Big, grisly caretaker man greets MamaKent at the nursing home as she arrives in the blue truck. She says she's delivering some produce and acts a little shady when Mustache Man tries to help her with it. She busts into a storage area and finds Ash Espado. "Oh! What are you doing here?" she says. As if she didn't know. I think she was looking for a taste of the cigarette tip. By which I mean, a nice ashy burn. Everything goes weird and strobey. It's an awful effect. Ash tries to help MamaKent with the produce and he turns it all to ash even though he's only touching what looks like a plastic basket. Wouldn't MamaKent's hands, which are holding the basket, also burn up? Not that we need any logic in this episode or anything. "Mrs. Sykes. That was you," MamaKent says. Um. Yes. Yes it was. Mustache Man comes in and MamaKent tells him to call the sheriff. He tries to grab Ash and, well, you can probably guess what happens. Mustache Man becomes urn filler. MamaKent cries out. What is up with this stupid strobe effect? It looks like we're watching Claymation.

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