Episode Report Card
Omar G: C+ | Grade It Now!
Ash Tuesday

Outside, Clark is jogging up to the old folks' home. He X-rays the building and sees two skeletons, one stalking the other. "Mom!" he cries. He knows what his mom's skeleton looks like? Clark zips inside and stands between the two of them. "Get away from her," he says. MamaKent warns Clark not to touch Ash. Ash puts his hand on Clark's purty face and it starts turning black. Before Clark can start to look like an Easter Island head, he throws Ash off, making him sail through the air with one mighty throw. MamaKent asks if Clark is all right. He just moans. Clark goes over to the boxes where he threw Ash, but it doesn't look like he's there anymore. Clark touches his instantly healed cheek and looks back at MamaKent. We go to commercial. That was...less than exciting.

The Fortress of Barnitude. (Although in this episode, I suppose you could call it the Fortress of Boreditude.) Sweet reconciliation music plays as Bo slowly comes up some stairs and, without a door to walk up to, knocks on a wood beam. That's the dumbest thing I've seen in, oh, about six minutes. Bo reports that MamaKent is resting, but that she'll be fine. She had a near-ashing, but she escaped, ash-free. Clark says that he doesn't think the police are going to find Ash. "Why?" Bo asks. Clark says because he saw Ash's heart and it wasn't beating. Wait, when? We never saw that. If ever there was a time to use that cool Fight Club going-into-the-body CGI, this is it, not to look into Bo's eye. Geez. Bo asks how Ash can walk around if he's dead. Clark asks how he can turn people to ash. Touché. Only, stupid. Clark says that when Ash touched his face, he felt the life draining out of him. Bo moves to touch Clark's cheek, saying, "You sure -- " but Clark cuts him off and pulls away. Awkward silence. Bo gets up to leave. Clark stops him. "Yeah?" Bo asks. "Nothing," Clark says. Oh damn you farm boys and your tough repression!

The Talon. Lana sees Clark walking in. She's wearing a strange bluish blazer that makes her look like she should be working a makeover counter at Dillard's. Lana is surprised about Ash. She says he seemed nice. When? In those lost minutes we never got to see? Clark says whatever she does, not to touch him. Instead, Clark thinks, she should touch me. Repeatedly. Lana changes the subject from the potentially life-threatening to the boring. She says Jocko called and wants to talk later. She thanks Clark. Then she leaves. No reason. She just leaves.

Lex walks in. He asks Clark about the football game and whether Bo is going. Clark says he's not sure. Lex says that's funny because Bo sounded adamant about not going. He rescinds the ticket offer, like a rogue Ticketmaster agent who doesn't like you. Lex says he doesn't want to stand in the way of Clark and Bo's quality time. At least not during the day. Lex blah blahs about how his dad never loved him either and how he had no discipline. Strange repetitive music is playing in the background. Lex concludes his little sob speech by saying that when his father dies, kings will come to the funeral. When Bo dies, friends will come. And Tom Wopat. What was the point of that scene exactly? To bore me? Nice job.

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