Sorority house. It's amazing! Girls! And panties! And pink frilly stuff on the beds and weird cloggy hairs in all the shower drains! This must be what heaven looks like! All right, I admit it. I never actually got to hang out in any sorority houses in college. But I saw lots of movies about them in the '80s, so I think I can field this scene. All the sorority girls rush down the stairs and greet Clark as he enters the house with Luke. Luke is like, "Uh, hey girls. I'm here, too. And I got long hair. Have I mentioned I was on The O.C.?" Two of the girls in front pat Clark's chest as if it were soft fur. "The tri Alphas are...big football fans," Luke says. And how! The two boldest girls are a very cute brunette co-ed in a pink top and an even cuter African-Canadian (? I guess?) girl in a tight blue button-up shirt. Not that I was looking. The brunette tells Clark that they did a little research and discovered that Clark's favorite flavor is chocolate. They needed research for that? The girl in the blue top is all, "Damn skippy it's chocolate." The girls lead Clark to a big chocolate cake. It's got "We want you Clark!" written on the side, and a big white football and goalposts on top. There's no way that football is making it between those goal posts. A giant glass of lemonade sits next to the cake. Clark tells them they didn't have to go through the trouble. Pink Top tells him they'd do anything to get him to commit to Met. U. Clark's smile suddenly fades. He mentally gulps. They offer a tour of the house. As he's led upstairs, Clark is told by Luke to take his time. This is totally the Sir Lancelot "Spank the virgin" scene from Monty Python and the Holy Grail. A giant print of a huge pair of lips is on the stairway. How very Rocky Horror.













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